Claire Herquet, Editor

I am 100% sure that we all have heard the big technology conspiracy- our devices are the nosiest eavesdroppers. Picture this: your iPhone (because seriously, who has Androids anymore?), secretly dressed in a suit and detective hat, constantly tuned into your conversations. They are desperately trying to keep up with your latest gossip. “Did they say they want a new air fryer? Quick, find an ad for that!” 

Last week, I dreamt I owed $8 million to the taxman. Naturally, I freaked out and dialed 911. The police, however, had no time for my dilemma– they have a strict no-pranks policy. From there, I ended up going outside to play in the snow with my golden retriever (I don’t own a dog). When I tell you guys that I didn’t question it, I mean it, and all these events felt real. 

Since I was having this dream on a normal weekday with a class at 9 a.m., I woke up and decided to check my phone quickly before getting up and ready. You could imagine the fear I had when I opened TikTok and a video of a young woman who coincidentally also owed $8 million on her taxes showed up on my for you page within seconds of me opening the app. 

I was stunned. Several questions were racing through my mind. How is the dollar amount almost identical to what I saw in my dream? How did this video find its way into the algorithm for me to see it? Did my phone swap notes with the dream realm? How is this woman going to afford to pay $8 million?  

On my drive to campus that morning, I couldn’t help but think about the possibility of my phone magically listening in and spectating my dream. Picture this: your iPhone, tuning in to your brain activity at all hours of the night to line up the perfect content and ads for you the next day. It gathers information to figure out your wants and needs based on your dreams. Let’s say that you’re dreaming about a beach vacation in Hawaii. Once you wake up, Amazon will have all the highly rated sunscreen and the cutest outfits for you neatly lined up on your homepage, waiting for you to click “Add to cart.” It’s not snooping; it’s just your phone accurately and carefully matching you with things you might like, all inspired by your dreams.  

Especially with Elon Musk’s Neuralink developing, it’s like we’re living in a sci-fi movie where our brains are the protagonists. If this continues to happen, we may all become convinced that our phones (more like our sneaky dream sidekicks), might be getting ahead of Musk’s clever invention.  

Sleep well in the world of dreams and tech devices, everyone!

Steven Hoang, Staff 

The recent “defrosting” of Mariah Carey brings about her Christmas reign, along with skipping the holiday of Thanksgiving. At the Walmart Supercenter located in the Philadelphia Mills Mall, some Walmart employees are barely clinging to their sanity.                                                           

“There was this one customer at the register who was trying to imitate Mariah saying ‘It’s time’ in whistle notes,” said Walmart cashier Pearlie Watts. “I really wanted to lash out at her, but I then realized that my minimum wage was more important. You can’t believe the amount of restraint it took for me to keep my mouth shut.”

For those like Walmart employee Clark Bates, it was a struggle to focus on his work with Carey’s song “All I Want For Christmas Is You” being on repeat. 

 “That song was on (expletive) blast for the past hour while I was restocking items at the toy section,” Bates said. “When will it stop? Do people know that Mariah has other hits? I love the song, but not when it’s shoved down my (expletive) throat!”

That said, some Walmart employees find comfort in listening to their own music in the breakroom. To them, it is an escape from reality.

“Having headphones and a playlist are essentials here,” employee Sherrie Pitt said. “The store has been overrun with the Carey Christmas plague! Our manager recently got infected with it. I can’t wait for (expletive) January!”

There are others who feel pessimistic about their predicament, such as employee Ashe Ketchup.

Ketchup said, “Personally, it has been a struggle. Before Mariah’s ‘defrosting,’ the whistle notes sounded like whispers. Now, they are more powerful, and I have to deal with the Christmas jingle sounds as well. It is not even Thanksgiving yet! It is only a matter of time before my demise! I do not know how long I can manage!”

Moments later, Ketchup resigned and left Walmart. Before driving off, he says that he plans on working at Target because “it’s better than Walmart,” but is still wary of Carey’s influence.

Andrew Noel, Staff

No, we will not be answering what happens after we die, nor will we be answering how the universe was created. In Philadelphia, there is a far more pressing question that affects the everyday lives of hundreds of thousands of people. Is the delicious breakfast meat called pork roll, or taylor ham?

The origins of this great debate begin in 1856 when New Jersey resident John Taylor invented a new breakfast meat and decided to call it “Taylor Ham.” However, he had to change the name to “pork roll” in 1906, after federal legislation stated that ham is a specific cut of pork, hence the name pork roll.^[1] This 1906 chasm began the war that is still being fought almost 120 years later.

This great American debate began in New Jersey, the home state of John Taylor, and has spread across the eastern seaboard. Philadelphia is not immune to this great American divide, with its proximity to southern New Jersey leading to most Philadelphians referring to the delicious food as pork roll, while most in the northern part of both Pennsylvania and New Jersey refer to the food as Taylor Ham. It is unclear where this divide (of northerners calling it taylor ham and southerners calling it pork roll) came from, but nonetheless, this is the divide we have been left with.

If you are wondering at this point what John Taylor would have preferred, it is hard to say. This is because he is from the middle part of New Jersey (Trenton to be specific). No, I will not say he was from central Jersey, as that place does not exist, no matter what the governor says! (https://www.nj.gov/governor/news/news/562023/20230824a.shtml)

This debate affects La Salle University and its students everyday. The popular Pauline’s Deli sells what they call, “pork roll sandwhiches”. This is in addition to the Fresh Grocer by campus selling what they term as “pork roll.” It is clear that the business establishments around La Salle believe the proper term for this food is pork roll, but what do the students think?

To say there is a divide among the student body would be an understatement, with one student, who calls it pork roll, having not even heard of the term “Taylor Ham” in her life. One staff member became so passionate about the debate (they are on team pork roll), that they raised their voice, and got physically upset at the possibility of the food being called Taylor Ham. Both of these people are from prime pork roll territory (Philadelphia, and South Jersey, respectively 

Like everything surrounding this debate, there is an almost even split between La Salle students, with roughly a third (from South Jersey and southern PA) calling the delicacy pork roll, a third from North Jersey, and New York calling it Taylor Ham, and another third not caring either way.

This great American debate has sparked controversy for over 100 years, and it is showing no signs of slowing down. No matter what you call it, I think we can all agree that Taylor Ham/pork roll is a delicious food, and is a great way to start the day.

Emily Allgair, Editor

Everyone you know has a specific walk. Whether they bounce with every step or glide with no sense of motion happening anywhere else, these types of walks become a way to identify people. I used to be really good at impersonating different people’s walks, but alas that time has passed. Now, I just recognize the walks from a distance and wonder where said person is off to. 

For those skeptical of how identifiable a walk truly is, I want you to put your imagination cap on. Think about this: it’s a random Tuesday in January. You are walking home from class when you see someone bundled up in a non-distinct puffer jacket and hat. You somehow, you immediately know it is your roommate. You could tell by the cadence of their steps, the way their arms swing back and forth as they trek, the way that they bounce (or don’t bounce) as they walk. You knew it was them by the sheer way that they walked, and that’s crazy!

People’s personalities influence so many aspects of themselves: mannerisms, appearance, even hygiene. But walking? Maybe I’ll do some research on how personality types impact walking patterns and link my findings in a future article…
Needless to say, walking is normal. But is there a normal way to walk when everyone walks their own specific way? Send me your thoughts at allgaire1@lasalle.edu.