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Latest Posts

Cities Of Detroit And Cleveland To Fight For Custody Of La Salle Women’s Lacrosse Team: La Salle Women’s Lacrosse Week In Review 5/1/23
Satire

Cities Of Detroit And Cleveland To Fight For Custody Of La Salle Women’s Lacrosse Team: La Salle Women’s Lacrosse Week In Review 5/1/23

Nicholas Signoretta, Editor Custody court is no laughing matter. (Just ask my dreaded ex-wife, Sheila) This Wednesday, May 3rd, the United States Supreme Court is set to hear a heated custody case concerning the cities of Detroit and Cleveland and their battle to attain sole guardianship of the 2023 La Salle University women’s lacrosse team. …

by Nicholas Signoretta May 2, 2023May 3, 2023
Saying Goodbye
Satire

Saying Goodbye

Emily Allgair, Editor Saying goodbye can be difficult. In fact, it can be one of the most difficult things to do at this point in our young adult lives. Saying goodbye can also be one of the easiest, least stressful things possible. Let’s be honest, we’ve all ghosted someone in some capacity. Whether it’s that…

by Emily Allgair May 2, 2023May 1, 2023
Lyle Crocodile Charged With Vehicular Manslaughter and DUI Charges, Could Face Up to 10 Years in the Slammer
Satire

Lyle Crocodile Charged With Vehicular Manslaughter and DUI Charges, Could Face Up to 10 Years in the Slammer

Ethan McGlone, Staff Writer New York City, New York – Child star Lyle Crocodile was arrested early Saturday morning at approximately 3:45 A.M. in downtown New York. Blowing a .27 on the breathalyzer, Lyle was apprehended by officials after pancaking a Prius going 120 MPH through a 4-way intersection. We could not get a quote…

by satirestaff May 2, 2023May 1, 2023
Breaking: President Joe Biden was Not Sleeping; He was only Resting his Eyes
Satire

Breaking: President Joe Biden was Not Sleeping; He was only Resting his Eyes

Ethan McGlone, Staff Via: https://freebeacon.com/biden-administration/ncaa-bracket-scandal/ Washington, D.C. – “Joe…JOE!!!” The screams from Jill Biden echoed throughout the halls of the White House. “His eyes were closed so I assumed he was sleeping. I needed to wake him up for his 1:30 meeting.” Jill admits that the job of President is taking a toll on Joe…

by satirestaff April 25, 2023
ChatGPT Takes On The Collegian Sports Section: La Salle Women’s Lacrosse Week In Review 4/25/23
Satire

ChatGPT Takes On The Collegian Sports Section: La Salle Women’s Lacrosse Week In Review 4/25/23

Nicholas Signoretta?, Editor ChatGPT, but with an explosion. (I already had a stock image of an explosion) In the absence of the much-maligned sports editor Nicky Signoretta, the people in power at The La Salle Collegian have decided to hop on the latest fad and utilize society’s greatest new piece of technology.  If Signoretta and…

by Nicholas Signoretta April 25, 2023April 25, 2023
Satire

Walks

Emily Allgair, Editor Everyone you know has a specific walk. Whether they bounce with every step or glide with no sense of motion happening anywhere else, these types of walks become a way to identify people. I used to be really good at impersonating different people’s walks, but alas that time has passed. Now, I…

by Emily Allgair April 25, 2023April 24, 2023

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