Nicholas Joseph Signoretta Obituary


Nicholas Signoretta, Editor (How Is That Even Possible?)

Signoretta enjoying his favorite bovine beverage. (mmmmmm, milk)

Nicholas Signoretta, the sports editor for the notable publication The La Salle Collegian, has been found dead in his North Philadelphia estate.  The twenty-one-year-old (twenty-three depending on alternate identification) was found to have passed from what officials are describing as a “milky” overdose.  Sources are reporting that Signoretta was an avid fan of the dairy drink despite roommates claiming he was “definitely” lactose-intolerant.

Suspicions are beginning to swirl around Signoretta’s sudden demise as it marks the second Collegian sports editor to pass in the past six months after Enrique Carrasco’s tragic suicide last October.  Fears revolving around the position and its potentially fatal repercussions have discouraged up-and-coming talent from signing with the critically acclaimed newspaper.  Several editors for the paper have since entered the transfer portal.

Nicholas Joseph Signoretta

October 8th, 2001 – April 15th, 2023

Fly High (Like Kinda High, But Not Has High As Enrique) King

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