Breaking: President Joe Biden was Not Sleeping; He was only Resting his Eyes


Ethan McGlone, Staff


Washington, D.C. – “Joe…JOE!!!” The screams from Jill Biden echoed throughout the halls of the White House. “His eyes were closed so I assumed he was sleeping. I needed to wake him up for his 1:30 meeting.” Jill admits that the job of President is taking a toll on Joe Biden, and he often needs to catch up on sleep. However, this could not be further from the truth. President Biden tells us, “C’mon man, I was just resting my eyes for like 5 minutes. Jill never gets off my back.” Joe was not sleeping. In fact, he was never sleeping at all. 

“I’m actually working on changing my nickname,” President Biden informs. “I have a trademark pending for Sloppy Joe. Those things are pretty good, I’ll tell ya. If I could make my nickname Chocolate Chocolate Chip Joe I would. But, that doesn’t roll off the tongue enough…” Our reporters continuously said “Yeah” and smiled at everything the president told us until President Biden picked up on the fact we did not care anymore. “Anyways…” The interview was over, thankfully. From the Collegian newspaper, this is Ethan McGlone reporting.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s