Claire Kunzier, Editor 

So Nick and I are thinking of taking a trip. Well actually, Nick asked me if I would drive to Vancouver to see Charli XCX in concert, to which he responded “you have time, it’s in July.” Now we are seriously contemplating renting some sort of vehicle, driving up and then flying home, good idea? Here are some personal pros and cons to the idea we have come up with.

Pros:

Charli XCX concert

It forces Claire to get her passport

A moment in time where we could best do it schedule-wise

At least 2 days worth of Nick and Claire time 

We could vlog it

Aesthetic

Vancouver is cool 

Slay

Cons:

Long drive (about 2 days)

High gas prices 

Flight prices 

At least 2 days of Nick and Claire time 

There’s concerts in the US, DC and Pittsburgh are the closest 

Claire has to get her passport asap

So yeah we’re in a predicament. Keep an eye out for what we do over the summer and send us your opinions, Kunzierc1@lasalle.edu. 

Emily Allgair, Staff

Dear Toast,

Firstly, I would like to just say thank you. For your emotional support, for feeding me when I am not fulfilled, and honestly, for everything. No matter how hectic life may be, the subtleness of your crispy bread and melted butter stands as a reminder to enjoy the simpler things of life, keeping me grounded. Whether I need a quick meal on the go, or I am getting over being violently ill, toast is the one thing I know I can count on.

So simple are you, and yet so complex can you become. White bread, wheat bread, whole grain. butter, avocado, jam. No matter what mood I am in, toast can bend to fulfill my desires — something rarely said about another food. Strong enough to hold an overeasy egg, yet light enough to be served on the side of most breakfast plates. A staple, if you will.

So thank you again, not only for what you have already done, but what you will continue to do. With the most sincere love and affection,

Someone who kneads you ❤ 

Claire Kunzier, Editor 

I am not good at planning or scheduling for many reasons, mostly because I forget. Since the New Year I have thought about getting a new tattoo and now in April, almost May, I really want to get another one. I have some ideas on what I want and where I would like to get it, but finding a tattoo artist is a struggle. What I want is basic linework, a little bit of shading, just an overall simple tattoo, the type that most people don’t want to do. I get it, it’s boring and basic and everyone is getting line work, which is why I am struggling. I am only finding classic American style artists, ones that focus on color and bigger pieces, and basically ones that would roll their eyes at what I am thinking of getting. Mad respect for all these artists and their specialities, I just want my boring black linework tattoo. If you have an artist that you’ve used please send them my way. 

Nolen Kelly, Editor

In this week’s A&E, I reviewed “The French Dispatch” because it spoke to me greatly. While my media diet has mostly consisted of movies and rewatching sitcoms, a new challenger has emerged from an unsuspecting corner of the world of TV: reality TV from New Jersey. You read the title so you know where this is going. As of the past four weeks, I’ve been consuming lethal doses of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” via my girlfriend, and while I have never been much of a reality TV kind of gal, my eyes have been opened to a world that I will tread lightly into because from what I’ve seen: it’s a good time, mostly. I’ve been watching “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” and you’re going to hear about it.

The Housewives

I’m currently absorbing season three of the show and so far each season has the same cast of folks with either an addition or a subtraction of a housewife. The main housewives we spend time with are Dina Cantin, Caroline Manzo, Teresa Giudice, Danielle Staub and Jacqueline Laurita. “RHoNJ” feels like an interpretive experience despite these being real people so to be honest I have no idea what any of them do outside of the show for a living besides Manzo, who frequently mentions The Brownstone, a catering company she owns.

The Journey So Far

Like I said, I am absorbing season three at the moment and so far the journey has been wild. At first my interest in the show was pretty much not there since it is not something I typically watch and I wasn’t sure how to properly invest into it since reality TV and the entire state of New Jersey have always been punchlines for me. Every parody I have ever seen of reality TV is always the same and pretty good but none of them truly capture the spirit of a heartbroken Italian confessional, the mania of domestic civil war, or the standstill intensity of when someone disrespects Caroline Manzo or her family. While none of these are new things to reality TV, they are new to me and on a show like “RHoNJ” they’re totally there and so much fun especially since everyone has an awesome Jersey accent and are all varying shades of orange. It is a romp of a time all the time. 

My favorite “character” is easily Caroline Manzo who I believe has ties with the mob. Not in an intense and cool way like Tony Soprano but like in an average New Jersey resident kind of way that makes you see them and be like “hey, cool.” I’ve said this several times to numerous real New Jersey residents and they agree. Caroline tends to stay away from the shenanigans which is respectable but once there is a situation that she needs to step in on — s**t goes down HORD. If Manzo has to intervene then it’s over and there’s no two ways about it. Two housewives left the show after being entangled in situations with Manzo. That rules. Every episode I’m interested to see what she will be doing instead of what the others do because she’s pretty interesting. She’s got a radio show, she owns a catering business, she has date nights with her husband instead of choosing her political side in The Great Teresa/ Danielle War of 2010. She is always cool, calm, collected and Caroline, in nearly every interaction she has. Manzo is the best and her inclusion but separation from the group always allows the show to breathe for a bit which is refreshing. 

Manzo was the main “character” I wanted to write about but I really need to talk about Teresa Giudice’s husband Joe Giudice. The rest of the husbands are fine and not terribly interesting to me except for Joe who consistently makes me laugh for just existing. He is physically akin to Tony Soprano but he dresses like a true baller — decked out with leather jackets and button down “TAPOUT” style shirts for formal events. In one episode, Joe does a sick roundhouse kick to a punching bag as a means to convey what will happen if someone disrespects Teresa at her sister-in-law’s Christmas party. This guy rules. Not without his flaws as a man or a father, Joe is the ultimate dude I hope to befriend at some point in my life because who wouldn’t want to hang out with a guy who just vibes in the corner, drinks and hates his own family?

In Summation

There’s a lot I didn’t touch on because I think you really have to sit and let this show absorb you. I could honestly watch these real housewives (of New Jersey) bicker for a while. Will I watch it for the rest of my life? No. Will I watch other “Real Housewife” shows? Fat chance. Will I go back and rewatch the first three seasons once they officially move on to new housewives? Probably, yes. Will I do it alone? Negative. Do I recommend you watch it? Yes, I do, seriously. Maybe you’re like me and need a little more kino in your diet. You can sit and make fun of how many unnecessary spin offs there are all day, you jerk, but if you start with those housewives from the “New” version of Jersey, then I think you may have a new reason to avoid the people you already dislike. Give it a shot. Try and make it through the first season and tell me you don’t want more. I could have said ‘No more. Please, free me from this mortal coil’ at any point. But I didn’t because this show is fun. Turn your brain off, focus on the show, get sucked in, have fun, enjoy yourself and let me know what your favorite Caroline Manzo or least favorite Joe Giuduce moment is.

Emily Allgair, Staff 

10. Banana Sprite Challenge
Absolutely foul. Putting aside the fact that this challenge results in vomiting, the flavor combination alone makes me nauseous. Also, why would you do a challenge where the “prize” is throwing up? Like just pull trig if you’re that desperate, but to each their own I suppose. 

9. Kiki Do You Love Me
Catchy song but dumb premise. That’s all I have to say.

8. Tide Pod Challenge
I don’t actually know of anyone who participated in this challenge, but I do know that Boomers and Gen X thought that this challenge would be the death of every single Gen Z-er on the internet. That fact alone made the Tide Pod challenge worthy enough to be placed on this list.

7. Kylie Jenner Lip Challenge
Not super dangerous, just super funny if your lips were bruised for a couple of days. Ranked so low because this challenge is, in my opinion, kind of mundane.

6. Cinnamon Challenge
Glozell remains superior to this challenge, but this challenge did end up putting some people in the hospital seeing as the cinnamon actually burned some esophaguses…

5. Salt and Ice Challenge
Brilliant but dangerous. There was one case where an adult babysitter did it to the child she was being paid to watch. Yes, this was a case of sheer stupidity, but as you will see with the next few challenges, points are docked for the opportunity for participants to be so dumb.

4. Ice Bucket Challenge
The ALS Ice Bucket challenge raises awareness for ALS research. Although this is a great cause, the initial point was to make a donation in addition to dousing yourself with ice cold water — something that most people who partook ended up dropping the ball on.

3. Mannequin Challenge
This challenge allows room to get creative. If you’re just frozen still in a normal position, you aren’t doing the challenge the way it was intended to be done.

2. Saltine Challenge
The fact that this challenge is attainable makes it ranked so highly. Although difficult due to the sheer dryness of the cracker itself, eating six saltine crackers in 60 seconds can indeed be done.

1. Planking
   I don’t even need to explain this one. Whoever thought it would be funny to just lie completely stiff deserves at least a Nobel Peace Prize.

Claire Kunzier, Editor 

It just do be like that. It’s cold and rainy and just a general stressful time of the year for many. As a graduating senior, I can say that midwest emo music really fits the moment for many during the mid-spring season. People want to have fun and drink Friday beers, but life is just not letting them so they’re sad about it, while there is likely more than just that going on, the desire to have fun but reality of stress makes everything very midwest emo. Different from regular emo, midwest emo has a brighter sound within their music and draws inspiration from indie music as well. The singers can’t really sing, but it fits very well with the melodramatic lyrics and chorus that will send you into a crisis. I say, embrace the music and let yourself have a midwest emo moment just this once. 

Claire Kunzier, Editor 

Why does a Karen have to throw a fit in an already busy and long line? Because she’s two buses. Why is traffic always there when you’re late? Because it’s a two bus situation. Why is that kid throwing a tantrum with an already flustered and tired parent? Because the kid is two buses. Being two buses means that a person is worsening the already difficult situation for no reason and a two bus situation is when something is already bad, but it is made worse with the addition of another thing. Making a tight turn in one of the busiest cities in the world with one bus is already hard enough, but adding another bus is just unnecessarily annoying. We’ve all had two bus situations in our lives, both literally and figuratively. Next time you’re in one, ask “Why you gotta be two buses” and deal with how sh*tty/annoying it is. BUT, don’t be two buses, that’s just annoying to make an already negative situation worse #f*cked up. 

You know those buses that are actually two buses connected by an accordion in the middle? That’s what we’re talking about. When one bus is just fine, but already difficult enough on its own without having a whole other bus attached to it. This phrase, spoken by some random women in New York City who was watching two buses try to make a tight turn, looked at the situation and spoke simply “Why you gotta be two buses?” Now, she literally meant two buses connected at the center, but the concept behind the phrase still stands, why do you have to make things more difficult than they already are?