Jeriann Tripodi, Editor

Header Image: knowyourmeme.com

Welcome to the funny world of entertainment. The following news includes goofy highlights of celebrities, television and music this week.

#POSTPONEMALOAN is trending

            One recent college graduate’s personalized cap went viral and caught the attention of many people, including rapper Post Malone. The young graduate designed her cap by gluing on a picture of the rapper alongside the words “POSTPONE MALOAN,” suggesting in a comedic way that she wants her college student loan postponed. Post Malone shared this image. He announced that he is randomly selecting 50 winners who tweet “#POSTPONEMALOAN” and will pay off their student loans. 

“Da Bachelor” dumps both women because he has fallen in love with himself

            The hit ABC reality show “Da Bachelor” has aired its season finale and fans were very surprised by the dramatic and unexpected ending. The two final women were separately driven to a cliff where they would meet the leading man. The first woman arrives, but leaves with a broken heart. It is then presumed that the second woman will be chosen. However, she is also eliminated. The leading man announces that he cannot propose to either woman because he loves someone else more: himself. He shared that he is ready to fully commit to himself and is grateful to spend the rest of his life with “the only homie I can really trust.”

Today marks 14 years since “I Kissed a Squirrel” was released

            It has been 14 years since the pop song “I Kissed a Squirrel” by singer Paty Kerry has made its radio debut. The song became an instant hit due to its unique title and lyrics. In an interview, Kerry shared the deep meaning behind the lyrics by explaining that she wrote this song about a squirrel who kept pestering her while she was gardening. One day, while the furry lad made his daily rounds destroying her plants, Kerry obnoxiously sang this new song out loud. The pest got frightened and never came back because he thought she “caught feelings.” After this hit song, which was the first hit for Kerry, she has released other chart-topping successes, such as “Hot N Old,” “California Squirrels” and “E.T. Phone Home.”

White Savior, Complex

Header Image: Vectordiary.com

There has been an ongoing conflict between Russia and Ukraine since 2014, but the conflict certainly escalated on February 24 when Russia invaded Ukraine. President Putin’s goal was to “demilitarize and de-Nazify Ukraine,” and originally Putin explained that “it is not our plan to occupy the Ukrainian territory. We do not intend to impose anything on anyone by force.” However, this narrative has changed since, as over 2 million Ukrainians have fled their homes to escape Russian military violence. But, this conflict has begun to improve because of the overwhelming amount of infographics being posted on Instagram. Hundreds of thousands of infographics began popping up on self-help blogs, influencer’s pages and businesses who came out in support of Ukraine.

Dictionary.com defines an infographic as “a visual presentation of information in the form of a chart, graph or other image accompanied by minimal text, intended to give an easily understood overview, often of a complex subject.” The infographic was created to help visualize data in an accessible way for the masses. William Playfair is credited as the first infographic creator, even if the term infographic was not created yet. However, in our modern context, oftentimes infographics are shared on Instagram via posts or stories. The infographic hashtag has 831k posts on Instagram. Infographics rose in popularity during the Black Lives Matter Movement in 2020 and have been applied to pretty much every political and social movement since then — including the Russia-Ukraine war.

Infographics can be used to get more engagement by using eye-catching headlines, high-quality images, relevant slogans and understandable vocabulary. In addition to creating more traction for your posts and profile, posting infographics also has social benefits. Posting infographics can make a creators’ followers think they are #woke. Being woke is being alert to injustice in society. Wokeness is something praised in this day and age more than ever, and for good reason, if woke infographics can solve major world conflicts.

An infographic titled “What is really going on in Ukraine and how you can help” in bubble letters written in blue and yellow has been all over social media feeds. The creator of this infographic explains that the infographic was easy to create using Canva and reliable sites like Wikipedia, NewsPunch and Facebook to gather information about the war. The creator says, “I am so excited that my social media activism has made such an impact. I usually post around 17 infographics a week, but this is the first time one of the infographics I have posted had such an impact.” 

This infographic landed on Putin’s Instagram explore page and now he has been motivated to improve relations with Ukraine by sliding into Ukraine leader, President Volodymyr Zelenskyy’s, DMs. The two discussed the issues back and forth and ultimately decided that it was in both nations’ best interests to settle their differences, all because of an infographic, when Putin sent Zelenskyy a message that said “I think we could settle this issue without violence :).”

An Impartial Judge, Staff

Hey there girlies. The annual hottest player awards are in, and omg you would not believe who is the #1 most totes hottest guy at this school! Let’s begin! 👄💓💓💓💓💓😍😍😍😍💅💅💅💅

10. Ryan Gosling in “Drive”

Drive (2011)

Ryan Gosling is totes hots, yo. He is like super hot and he had a lot of votes from you guys, putting him in the top 10 for the first time in his life. Only specifically in “Drive” though, he is not one of the hottest water polo players on campus outside of “Drive.”

50. Vladimir Putin

fabiusmaximus.com

Also known as the father of Assistant Coach Veljko Kotorica, Vladimir Putin has constantly been amongst the top three hottest water polo players on campus for some time now. But due to an embarrassing performance in their game against Navy, and invading Ukraine, has dropped to the 50th spot. Not a personal favorite, but I’ll take what I can get. 

67. The entire country of Iraq

Iraq Flag

‘Nuff said 😎

7. Salma Hayeck

Salma Hayek

Simply put: Mommy

5. Josh Delilo 

Truth be told, it was a tie for 1st place so I randomly generated numbers and used it to dictate their position within the list. So the 5th hottest person on the water polo team, the one, the only, THE Josh Delilo.

4. Veljko Kotorica

Despite being an impressive 6’5”, the Serbian candidate couldn’t crack the top four once again. Many attribute this to the yellow water he drinks, but I personally think it is because he is simply too hot to handle. 

3. Tyler Williams

What can be said about this hunka meat that can’t be seen? He is absolutely gorgeous and like totes a hotty. Like totes magoats.

2. Jorden Mcveagh

Simply put: Mommy

1.  David O’Brien 

In its most basic explanation, David O’Brien can be regarded as the ideal human, and the best defensive player in the history of La Salle athletics, nay, collegiate sports. His perfect track record on defense of zero goals allowed in four years constantly keeps O’Brien as the hottest player on the water polo team. 

In a shocking move, the Explorers have hired the actor, thinking he is a real basketball coach
Sadam Andler, Staff

Following the firing of former head coach Ashley Howard, La Salle University stated that Associate head coach Kyle Griffin would serve as interim coach while they performed an extensive national search for a new coach. When asked who they were looking for, the department responded, “There’s uniqueness about Philadelphia and the Big 5 and the history. Somebody really understands this community, I think that’s important.”

Just eight crazy nights later, La Salle has found their new head coach, actor and MTV Movie & TV Award for Best Fight winner Adam Sandler. Sandler was present on La Salle’s campus in September of 2021 to shoot his upcoming Netflix film “Hustle.” 

“Hustle” is a story about a down-and-out basketball scout named Stanley Beren (Sandler) who finds talent in a streetball player and tries to bring him into the NBA. During the trailer for the film, Sandler can be seen in Tom Gola Arena going overboard yelling “I love this game, I live this game” referring to basketball. Not once during any promotional material for the film do we ever see Sandler shoot a basket or train in any way. La Salle seems to think that Sandler just clicks.

I know we are supposed to be fact bearing journalists who never comment on anything, but in this case we will have to put our award winning ethical standards aside to simply ask: How did this happen?

Did La Salle see the character of Beren and misconstrue him for a real person? Sandler does have an affinity for basketball in real life, but he also is a 5’10” 190lb 50-something with no coaching experience. Was the La Salle connection of him filming a movie here really enough to convince the rest of the coaching staff that he is the man for the job? Or, has La Salle finally started to move away from their basketball-centric financial plan to support a losing team with millions of dollars? Maybe it’s time Sandler started to read some bedtime stories to the starting players to prepare them for what’s to come.

Either way, many students at La Salle seem to be pleased with the change, with dozens of students lining up around the TruMark Financial Center to get a look at the new coach and La Salle’s new mascot, his pet dog Bagel. He killed Angus by the way, sorry you had to find out this way. Sandler must have really taken a liking to La Salle while he was here, with students singing him happy birthday and getting punch-drunk, loving him any chance they got.

He secured a $250 million dollar contract with Netflix in 2020, and after the critical success of “Uncut Gems,” he is at the top of his acting career, even after his comedic prime with films like “Happy Gilmore” and “Waterboy” winning the hearts of dad’s everywhere. So, first off, how did La Salle peg him down, and why did he accept? Perhaps it was a blending of his anger management skills and ability to throw a ball to the longest yard on the court, or perhaps there are more sinister reasons brewing. Allow us to offer some analysis.

We believe that Sandler has agreed to coach La Salle’s basketball team in order to further his underground sports betting career, not because of the school’s great deeds. Every time La Salle gets a new head coach, there is a chance, however slim, that La Salle could bolster themselves and become an underdog story. While it’s unlikely given the team’s track record, Sandler still worries about it in the back of his mind. In “Uncut Gems,” Sandler’s character repeatedly invests thousands of dollars in sports betting, gaining and losing lives worth of fortunes over the course of the film. Sandler, a method actor, no doubt carries these same types of bets in real life. Because he consults with grown ups, he likely bets against La Salle for every single game, slowly racking up small dividends on the odds to further his Netflix money. If La Salle were to hire someone noteworthy and rise against those odds though, Sandler could find himself a little sicky. 

Will Sandler turn his time with La Salle into fifty first dunks, or will he just end up being the waterboy? We can’t wait to hustle and find out if he makes a ridiculous pick six (I know it’s football, let me have my puns) or if he’ll fall down the hill like Jack and Jill.