For this year’s Fool-egian episode of The Pod, we finally reveal the face behind the camera (kind of…) Kylie and David welcome Pod producer Emily Allgair to the hot seat, learning about her interests, hobbies, and hot takes. Join The Pod this week as we learn all about our puppeteer who pulls the strings!
Credits:
Hosts: David O’Brien, Kylie McGovern
Video: Emily Allgair
Guest: Emily Allgair
Originally published Apr. 1, 2022
Nolen Kelly, Staff
Like the previous Club Quad events, Club Quad III was promoted for several months in advance. The main feud stemmed from The La Salle mascot, the Explorer’s, heel turn and betrayal of his friend, the former interim president of La Salle University, Francis ‘Frank’ Reynolds which began on an episode of “Just Next Door” when La Salle TV station manager Ellis presented Reynolds with a trophy for being the former interim president of La Salle University for less than a year, and the Explorer, his good friend, came out to congratulate him but cryptically remarked: “Less than a year to be a former interim president of La Salle, it’s a long time.” A week later on another episode of “Just Next Door,” Tonya presented the Explorer with a visibly smaller trophy for being “a chill dude with a decent vibe” and Reynolds came out to congratulate. The Explorer, but before the Explorer could speak, Reynolds ended up being the focal point of the interview. Annoyed by this, the Explorer walked out during Reynolds’ congratulation speech.
A week later on yet another “Just Next Door” segment, sophomore Aidan Tyksinski hinted he knew something about the Explorer but wasn’t telling. This infuriated Ellis and the two nearly came to blows before Tyksinski challenged that he could bring the Explorer in next week, asking Ellis “can you bring Frank in?” Ellis agreed and nervously asked Reynolds later on who agreed. The following week Reynolds was on “Just Next Door” first when the Explorer walked out with Ashley Howard, a long-time adversary of the entire student body. He announced himself to be the Explorer’s new manager. The Explorer then challenged Reynolds to a title match at Club Quad III and attacked him, ripping off his t-shirt and glasses.
In what was billed as the “biggest title event in La Salle’s history” the final match pitted former interim president and wealthy businessman Reynolds, defending the title of “Former Interim President of La Salle University” against the Lasallian mascot, the Explorer. The fans booed the Explorer heavily and pelted him and his manager Howard with trash as the two rode the cart to the quad where the match took place. In contrast, Reynolds, who walked to the quad, came out to a lukewarm ovation. Approximately two minutes into the match, Reynolds attempted to body slam the Explorer, but he was unable to lift the Explorer and nearly lost the match when the Explorer fell on him and almost pinned him. After the match had battled back and forth, the Explorer gave Reynolds an Irish whip to the far side of the ring and attempted a big boot on Reynolds, but Reynolds ducked it and came off the ropes to give the Explorer a clothesline to take him off his feet for the first time in the match. Reynolds then “Franked up” and scoop slammed the 143 lb (65 kg) Explorer before hitting the ropes and executing his patented trash can throw into a pin to get the win and retain the title of “Former Interim President of La Salle.”
The event received positive reviews. In the years after Club Quad III, the main event between Reynolds and the Explorer is regarded as one of the pivotal matches in the history of La Salle University, with Reynolds’ final bodyslam on the Explorer having become an iconic moment of both people’s careers as well as the 2020’s La Salle Wrestling on the Quad boom overall. Despite its historic importance, the match was also criticized for its quality. At the time, it received a negative four star rating from Enrique Carasco and the Collegian named it the “Worst Worked Match of the Year.” Commentary Editor Alina Snopkowski gave the match one star, stating “The match is not good in any way shape or form; but is one I completely appreciate for its historical importance.” Jakob Eiseman, also a writer for the Collegian, gave the match two stars in 2019, stating “Technically, this isn’t any good. However, I don’t think it’s nearly as bad as some people do.”
Jeriann Tripodi, Editor
Header Image: knowyourmeme.com
Welcome to the funny world of entertainment. The following news includes goofy highlights of celebrities, television and music this week.
#POSTPONEMALOAN is trending
One recent college graduate’s personalized cap went viral and caught the attention of many people, including rapper Post Malone. The young graduate designed her cap by gluing on a picture of the rapper alongside the words “POSTPONE MALOAN,” suggesting in a comedic way that she wants her college student loan postponed. Post Malone shared this image. He announced that he is randomly selecting 50 winners who tweet “#POSTPONEMALOAN” and will pay off their student loans.
“Da Bachelor” dumps both women because he has fallen in love with himself
The hit ABC reality show “Da Bachelor” has aired its season finale and fans were very surprised by the dramatic and unexpected ending. The two final women were separately driven to a cliff where they would meet the leading man. The first woman arrives, but leaves with a broken heart. It is then presumed that the second woman will be chosen. However, she is also eliminated. The leading man announces that he cannot propose to either woman because he loves someone else more: himself. He shared that he is ready to fully commit to himself and is grateful to spend the rest of his life with “the only homie I can really trust.”
Today marks 14 years since “I Kissed a Squirrel” was released
It has been 14 years since the pop song “I Kissed a Squirrel” by singer Paty Kerry has made its radio debut. The song became an instant hit due to its unique title and lyrics. In an interview, Kerry shared the deep meaning behind the lyrics by explaining that she wrote this song about a squirrel who kept pestering her while she was gardening. One day, while the furry lad made his daily rounds destroying her plants, Kerry obnoxiously sang this new song out loud. The pest got frightened and never came back because he thought she “caught feelings.” After this hit song, which was the first hit for Kerry, she has released other chart-topping successes, such as “Hot N Old,” “California Squirrels” and “E.T. Phone Home.”
Header Image: Vectordiary.com
There has been an ongoing conflict between Russia and Ukraine since 2014, but the conflict certainly escalated on February 24 when Russia invaded Ukraine. President Putin’s goal was to “demilitarize and de-Nazify Ukraine,” and originally Putin explained that “it is not our plan to occupy the Ukrainian territory. We do not intend to impose anything on anyone by force.” However, this narrative has changed since, as over 2 million Ukrainians have fled their homes to escape Russian military violence. But, this conflict has begun to improve because of the overwhelming amount of infographics being posted on Instagram. Hundreds of thousands of infographics began popping up on self-help blogs, influencer’s pages and businesses who came out in support of Ukraine.
Dictionary.com defines an infographic as “a visual presentation of information in the form of a chart, graph or other image accompanied by minimal text, intended to give an easily understood overview, often of a complex subject.” The infographic was created to help visualize data in an accessible way for the masses. William Playfair is credited as the first infographic creator, even if the term infographic was not created yet. However, in our modern context, oftentimes infographics are shared on Instagram via posts or stories. The infographic hashtag has 831k posts on Instagram. Infographics rose in popularity during the Black Lives Matter Movement in 2020 and have been applied to pretty much every political and social movement since then — including the Russia-Ukraine war.
Infographics can be used to get more engagement by using eye-catching headlines, high-quality images, relevant slogans and understandable vocabulary. In addition to creating more traction for your posts and profile, posting infographics also has social benefits. Posting infographics can make a creators’ followers think they are #woke. Being woke is being alert to injustice in society. Wokeness is something praised in this day and age more than ever, and for good reason, if woke infographics can solve major world conflicts.
An infographic titled “What is really going on in Ukraine and how you can help” in bubble letters written in blue and yellow has been all over social media feeds. The creator of this infographic explains that the infographic was easy to create using Canva and reliable sites like Wikipedia, NewsPunch and Facebook to gather information about the war. The creator says, “I am so excited that my social media activism has made such an impact. I usually post around 17 infographics a week, but this is the first time one of the infographics I have posted had such an impact.”
This infographic landed on Putin’s Instagram explore page and now he has been motivated to improve relations with Ukraine by sliding into Ukraine leader, President Volodymyr Zelenskyy’s, DMs. The two discussed the issues back and forth and ultimately decided that it was in both nations’ best interests to settle their differences, all because of an infographic, when Putin sent Zelenskyy a message that said “I think we could settle this issue without violence :).”
An Impartial Judge, Staff
Hey there girlies. The annual hottest player awards are in, and omg you would not believe who is the #1 most totes hottest guy at this school! Let’s begin! 👄💓💓💓💓💓😍😍😍😍💅💅💅💅
10. Ryan Gosling in “Drive”
Drive (2011)
Ryan Gosling is totes hots, yo. He is like super hot and he had a lot of votes from you guys, putting him in the top 10 for the first time in his life. Only specifically in “Drive” though, he is not one of the hottest water polo players on campus outside of “Drive.”
50. Vladimir Putin
fabiusmaximus.com
Also known as the father of Assistant Coach Veljko Kotorica, Vladimir Putin has constantly been amongst the top three hottest water polo players on campus for some time now. But due to an embarrassing performance in their game against Navy, and invading Ukraine, has dropped to the 50th spot. Not a personal favorite, but I’ll take what I can get.
67. The entire country of Iraq
Iraq Flag
‘Nuff said 😎
7. Salma Hayeck
Salma Hayek
Simply put: Mommy
5. Josh Delilo
Truth be told, it was a tie for 1st place so I randomly generated numbers and used it to dictate their position within the list. So the 5th hottest person on the water polo team, the one, the only, THE Josh Delilo.
4. Veljko Kotorica
Despite being an impressive 6’5”, the Serbian candidate couldn’t crack the top four once again. Many attribute this to the yellow water he drinks, but I personally think it is because he is simply too hot to handle.
3. Tyler Williams
What can be said about this hunka meat that can’t be seen? He is absolutely gorgeous and like totes a hotty. Like totes magoats.
2. Jorden Mcveagh
Simply put: Mommy
1. David O’Brien
In its most basic explanation, David O’Brien can be regarded as the ideal human, and the best defensive player in the history of La Salle athletics, nay, collegiate sports. His perfect track record on defense of zero goals allowed in four years constantly keeps O’Brien as the hottest player on the water polo team.
In a shocking move, the Explorers have hired the actor, thinking he is a real basketball coach
Sadam Andler, Staff
Following the firing of former head coach Ashley Howard, La Salle University stated that Associate head coach Kyle Griffin would serve as interim coach while they performed an extensive national search for a new coach. When asked who they were looking for, the department responded, “There’s uniqueness about Philadelphia and the Big 5 and the history. Somebody really understands this community, I think that’s important.”
Just eight crazy nights later, La Salle has found their new head coach, actor and MTV Movie & TV Award for Best Fight winner Adam Sandler. Sandler was present on La Salle’s campus in September of 2021 to shoot his upcoming Netflix film “Hustle.”
“Hustle” is a story about a down-and-out basketball scout named Stanley Beren (Sandler) who finds talent in a streetball player and tries to bring him into the NBA. During the trailer for the film, Sandler can be seen in Tom Gola Arena going overboard yelling “I love this game, I live this game” referring to basketball. Not once during any promotional material for the film do we ever see Sandler shoot a basket or train in any way. La Salle seems to think that Sandler just clicks.
I know we are supposed to be fact bearing journalists who never comment on anything, but in this case we will have to put our award winning ethical standards aside to simply ask: How did this happen?
Did La Salle see the character of Beren and misconstrue him for a real person? Sandler does have an affinity for basketball in real life, but he also is a 5’10” 190lb 50-something with no coaching experience. Was the La Salle connection of him filming a movie here really enough to convince the rest of the coaching staff that he is the man for the job? Or, has La Salle finally started to move away from their basketball-centric financial plan to support a losing team with millions of dollars? Maybe it’s time Sandler started to read some bedtime stories to the starting players to prepare them for what’s to come.
Either way, many students at La Salle seem to be pleased with the change, with dozens of students lining up around the TruMark Financial Center to get a look at the new coach and La Salle’s new mascot, his pet dog Bagel. He killed Angus by the way, sorry you had to find out this way. Sandler must have really taken a liking to La Salle while he was here, with students singing him happy birthday and getting punch-drunk, loving him any chance they got.
He secured a $250 million dollar contract with Netflix in 2020, and after the critical success of “Uncut Gems,” he is at the top of his acting career, even after his comedic prime with films like “Happy Gilmore” and “Waterboy” winning the hearts of dad’s everywhere. So, first off, how did La Salle peg him down, and why did he accept? Perhaps it was a blending of his anger management skills and ability to throw a ball to the longest yard on the court, or perhaps there are more sinister reasons brewing. Allow us to offer some analysis.
We believe that Sandler has agreed to coach La Salle’s basketball team in order to further his underground sports betting career, not because of the school’s great deeds. Every time La Salle gets a new head coach, there is a chance, however slim, that La Salle could bolster themselves and become an underdog story. While it’s unlikely given the team’s track record, Sandler still worries about it in the back of his mind. In “Uncut Gems,” Sandler’s character repeatedly invests thousands of dollars in sports betting, gaining and losing lives worth of fortunes over the course of the film. Sandler, a method actor, no doubt carries these same types of bets in real life. Because he consults with grown ups, he likely bets against La Salle for every single game, slowly racking up small dividends on the odds to further his Netflix money. If La Salle were to hire someone noteworthy and rise against those odds though, Sandler could find himself a little sicky.
Will Sandler turn his time with La Salle into fifty first dunks, or will he just end up being the waterboy? We can’t wait to hustle and find out if he makes a ridiculous pick six (I know it’s football, let me have my puns) or if he’ll fall down the hill like Jack and Jill.
Header Image: Twitter
Ariana Grande will change name to Ariana Venti if petition gets enough signatures
One fan tweeted Ariana Grande and asked if she would change her last name to “Venti” if he started a petition and got 100,000 signatures. Grande replied to the tweet, and stated that she will gladly change her last name to “Venti” only if the petition gets no less than one million signatures.
Bob Saget wished he chose La Salle
During a recent episode of “Jimmy Kimmel Live!,” actor and Temple alum Bob Saget shared one regret he has: he wished he would have chosen LaSalle for college. The Philadelphia native told Jimmy Kimmel that although he loved his alma mater and learned a lot there, he wished he would have chosen the “coolest college in Philadelphia.”
#POSTPONEMALOAN is trending
One recent college graduate’s personalized cap went viral and caught the attention of many people, including rapper Post Malone. The young graduate designed her cap by gluing on a picture of the rapper alongside the words “POSTPONE MALOAN,” suggesting in a comedic way that she wants her college student loan postponed. Post Malone shared this image, and announced that he is randomly selecting 50 winners who tweet “#POSTPONEMALOAN” and will pay off their student loans.
Josh Groban and Joel Osteen are related
One Twitter user went viral after tweeting side by side images of singer Josh Groban and television preacher Joel Osteen. She confessed that she sometimes confuses the two men due to their similar appearance. Replies poured in, as others tweeted that the two men look so similar they must be related and do not know it. Curious fans then did a little digging and found that the two were indeed related. According to Ancestry.com, Groban and Osteen are distant cousins.
Jake Eiseman, Editor
Header image: Original photo from Philadelphia Magazine
The pride and joy of Philadelphia’s urban planning, sometimes referred to by locals as the “Surekill Distressway,” became even more blocked and congested with traffic greater than normal on Monday, when a driver testing out the new Tesla Motors’ soon-to-release electric cargo truck, the Semi, plowed through several Toyota Camrys while traveling southbound along the Schuylkill Expressway across from Northwest Philadelphia’s Wissahickon neighborhood. The driver, whose name is not being released as his case is pending, said “I lost control of my body while listening to ‘SoulFly.’ It was like I left and Rod took the wheel.” The man, who is said to have had tears running down his face at an alarming rate at the time of impact according to witnesses of his Tesla dashcam tapes, was listening to the new album “SoulFly” by American rapper Rod Arius Marcell Green, known professionally as Rod Wave.
Wyoming Wister, a witness to the accident, said that when she pulled over to see if everyone was alright, all she could hear was the ominous droning of “Pipe that sh*t up, TnT / So many ups and downs, sometimes I feel like I can’t balance it / It be challenging, so many challenges (Yeah),” and the sound of tires screeching and metal collapsing as dozens of cars continued to pile up onto each other. “It was crazy,” said Wister, “It was like all of them immediately started crying and losing control as soon as they heard Rod’s smooth voice.” While the state is expected to press charges against the truck driver for his negligence and damage to the expressway that, according to a spokesperson from the Philadelphia Streets Department, “Really should just be demolished anyway but YOLO,” there are also conversations about charging Tesla’s newly appointed Technoking, Elon Musk, for including such “bass-heavy, car-bumpin’, tune-blastin’, MFin’, sound-drivin’ god-tier cone speakers,” in the Semi, causing people to hear Wave’s voice in such clarity.
Anonymous sources close to the driver say that he is not ashamed of his actions, as he was “spreading the ‘word of the Wave’” to the people of Philadelphia. His family, however, has said that they plan on working with the Philadelphia Police Department (PPD) on an investigation into the so-called “cult of ‘SoulFly’” that has been trending locally on Philadelphia based social-media and forums. For now, the PPD advises that until this investigation has concluded, and until more information is known about this Wave individual, Philadelphia residents are to refrain from listening to his music, especially while driving, and that they will be using analytics-based technology to find people who stream “SoulFly” on Spotify.
Sources close to Governor Tom Wolf say that he and Rachel Levine have been referring to this and other similar incidents across the state as “The RodDemic” colloquially, and there are worries that these are not isolated incidents, and that the vitriolic nature of Philly drivers simply brought it to light.
The Collegian will monitor the situation closely and provide updates as this story unfolds.
Header image: FX
It was announced earlier this semester that La Salle’s President Colleen Hanycz would be stepping down from her role. We here at the Collegian have done our research and are very excited to welcome Francis “Frank” Reynolds to La Salle University. Frank is a short, stocky, disgusting man, but a proud lifelong Philadelphian. We know you are probably wondering what credentials Mr. Reynolds possibly could have to be a Lasallian leader.
As a child, Frank got to know the ins and outs of the mental institutional system as he was admitted with a rare mental condition known as “Donkey Brains,” although it was discovered Frank did not have any sign of “Donkey Brains” and has since had the condition expunged from his medical history. Frank is a well-traveled man who has owned and operated several businesses across the world such as a clothing manufacturing center in Vietnam that hired local young people for very efficient costs that was totally not a sweatshop, according to Reynolds himself.
In the past, Reynolds has been in the furniture business, in a manner of speaking, and has often worked odd-jobs, getting to know the urban landscape of the city of brotherly love. Reynolds has two children that he knows of, Dennis and Deandra Reynolds, with whom he manages a local South Philadelphia bar, Paddy’s Pub, alongside their business associates and owners, Charlie Kelly and Ronald “Mac” McDonald.
Reynolds is in support of national gun rights, artistic expression, supports sex workers and is a connoisseur of unique hardboiled cuisine. Reynolds has even acted as drummer in a band for a short stint and has had multiple stage appearances at his local theater. He has invested much of his time and resources into such activities as skiing, rehabilitation for drug addicts, events sponsored by his bar and company trips to various places including Ocean City, New Jersey.
Mr. Reynolds will make a fine addition to the La Salle family and I for one am very excited to see what he has in store for all of us here at La Salle University.
The La Salle Collegian 