La Salle’s new interim presidency and what it means for the Lasallian community

Editorial

The Editorial Board

Header image: La Salle University

The La Salle community received word on Monday that we would not be starting off the fall 2021 semester with a new full-time president, but rather an interim president who will be steering the ship until a Presidential Search Committee concludes their search and selection process. Timothy O’Shaughnessy was chosen by the La Salle University Board of Trustees to serve in the role and will not be a candidate for the presidential position beyond his time in the transitional period. 

The announcement, penned by William W. Matthews, III, Esq., a member of the class of 1990 and the La Salle Board of Trustees, detailed that a new president is planned to be announced by “early 2022.” Assuming there will be another transitional period going into the spring 2022 semester, the new president will likely be in their office in a full-time working position by the beginning of the fall 2022 semester. So, until then, Interim President O’Shaughnessy will be serving the Lasallian community and carrying on President Colleen Hanycz’s work in the office. For a full recap of the announcement, please look to our News section.

La Salle University

“We sought a candidate with senior administrative experience, a deep knowledge of Catholic education in Philadelphia, an understanding of our university and a firm commitment to the Lasallian mission — all of which Tim brings to this role,” said Matthews in his letter. Prior to his career on the La Salle Executive Cabinet which began in January of this year, O’Shaughnessy worked as the Vice President of Finance at Aramark where he led their business, sports and entertainment group. From 2008 to 2012 O’Shaughnessy cut his teeth working in the academic field as the CFO of St. Joseph’s Preparatory School. In the past he also served as an audit committee board member for Holy Family University, a board member of Cristo Rey Philadelphia High School and director of Polonia Bank. O’Shaughnessy’s most notable career achievement, however, is his role as the CFO of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia. As CFO, O’Shaughnessy oversaw millions of dollars in budgetary improvements through eliminating deficit spending.

With that said, while O’Shaughnessy should not be expected to make any major changes in his time as interim president, La Salle’s current financial woes could certainly use someone with a background in handling fiscal issues. Many students have watched La Salle lose numerous amenities that were originally promised to them, ranging from cut sports teams, to sold art, just to keep the school relevant without raising tuition by large amounts. O’Shaughnessy’s actions as interim president will no doubt be closely monitored by the Board of Trustees and his Executive Cabinet, however, it may prove beneficial to the university if O’Shaughnessy is able to flex some of his financial redevelopment muscle, or at least lay some groundwork for it. With the Archdiocese, this was mainly done through layoffs and the sale of real estate, which we on the Editorial Board stringently recommend avoiding, as selling Lasallian history does not sit well with the community, as is evidenced by the ongoing conversation regarding the sale of the La Salle Art Museum’s collections. The armory is an option, as it is so far removed from campus, but other historic buildings may become problematic if plans are devised to sell them.

While O’Shaughnessy’s career boasts a number of CFO positions, and he served as a part of the Lasallian community for a short time before being appointed, it is worth noting that he will be taking up the mantle at a paramountly important period for La Salle. Just this week, the university will begin distributing the Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine to students and members of the community, cases of the virus on the university’s campus are in the single digits and a new class of incoming freshmen will have to face COVID-19’s implications on campus starting as soon as the next Explorientation. 

The Business Journals

In her time with La Salle, President Hanycz accomplished many major changes including the tuition reset in 2017, the founding of the De La Salle Institute for Advanced Teaching and Learning, reforming the core curriculum, starting Project Compass and perhaps above all, guiding the Lasallian community through the transition to remote and hybrid learning and facilitating a safe return to in-person teaching with no major incidents and a general feeling of public health safety among undergraduates. The plans that were put in place in regards to COVID-19 during Hanycz’s tenure, no doubt heavily influenced and touched on by the Board, Executive Cabinet and the Student Wellness team, appear to be working well, and if they are continued to be supported by O’Shaughnessy and his staff, La Salle could very well return to the campus we remember.

The Lasallian community needs to recognize that O’Shaughnessy taking the role of interim president is a step back in terms of diversity, even if it is a temporary position. President Hanycz made history when she became the first lay and female president of La Salle in its over 150 years of operations. Especially with all that has gone on in the world in the last two years, partnered with the university’s continued message of standing in solidarity with the African American community and other minority groups in America, we urge the Presidential Selection Committee to take diversity, inclusion and representation very seriously when choosing their candidates for La Salle’s 30th president.

We at the Collegian wish Interim President O’Shaughnessy success in his work with the Lasallian community, thank President Hanycz for her time spent with us since 2015 and urge the entire Lasallian community to be engaged and involved with university announcements regarding presidential selection and to voice their opinions to university administration regarding potential candidates.


Letters, guest columns and opinion pieces will be considered for publication provided that they meet the editorial standards of The Collegian. All letters must be received by the end of the day Monday to be considered for the current issue. Letters can be submitted via email to abbateb2@lasalle.edu. The Collegian reserves the right to condense or edit submissions. Weekly editorials reflect the views of the editorial staff and are not representative of the university or necessarily the views of the rest of the Collegian’s staff. Columns and cartoons reflect the views of the respective writers and artists.

What’s Trending — May 5

Arts & Entertainment

Jeriann Tripodi, Staff

Header image: Stereogum

Lady Gaga’s alleged dognappers have been arrested

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TMZ

Two months after pop singer Lady Gaga’s dog walker, Ryan Fischer, was shot and her two French Bulldogs were stolen during a robbery, five people have finally been arrested. According to Yahoo, the suspects range from 18 to 50-years-old. Three were charged with attempted murder and robbery. Two were charged with accessory after the fact. One of the adults taken into custody is the woman who returned the stolen dogs to the police station after the pop singer offered a $500,000 reward for the pets to be returned safely. 

Kim Kardashian looks unrecognizable with new blonde look

US Weekly

Reality star and socialite Kim Kardashian has changed her hairstyle several times throughout the years, however, her most recent look shocked fans. Posting to her Instagram story, the “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” star shared the process of her transformation, which included her eyebrows being bleached. The reality star then shared a photo with her makeup fully done while sporting blonde eyebrows and honey blonde hair. After driving fans into a frenzy, the final photo showed Kardashian as a brunette, as she indicated that the blonde look was not permanent and was only for a photoshoot. 

“The Celebrity Dating Game” set to premiere this summer 

TVLine 

On June 14, “The Celebrity Dating Game” will premiere on ABC. This new game show is adapted from “The Dating Game,” which was a game show that aired from 1965 to 1986. It will follow the same dating format, but with a celebrity spin. Each episode will follow the stars as they pick one suitor out of three bachelors/bachelorettes from a hidden panel based on their answers to a range of questions. The identities of the celebrities will also be hidden from the suitors. Taye Diggs, Hannah Brown and Iggy Azalea will be the first three celebrity contestants. Also, Michael Bolton and Zooey Deschanel will be co-hosting. 

“Kissing Booth 3” set to be released this summer

Business-Insider

Netflix has announced that the third and final installment to the “Kissing Booth” series will arrive on the streaming platform on August 11. According to TeenVogue, the teen rom-com’s plot will revolve around main character Elle’s huge college decision that will have an impact on her close relationships. All of the main cast is expected to return. “The Kissing Booth 3” is rated PG-13 and stars Joey King, Jacob Elordi and Joel Courtney.  

Number one song on the Billboard charts: week of May 1, 2021

SoundCloud

According to “The Hot 100” on the charts, the number one song in the U.S. is “Rapstar” by Polo G. This is the second week the rap song is at the top spot. 

“The Falcon and The Winter Soldier” review

Arts & Entertainment

Nolen Kelly, Staff

The newest Disney+ miniseries from Marvel Studios is “The Falcon and The Winter Soldier, and Marvel’s transition from “WandaVision” to this is like watching the witch comedy “Hocus Pocus” and immediately following it up with the James Bond flick “Skyfall.” The show centers on Sam Wilson, or the Falcon, played by Anthony Mackie (“The Hurt Locker,” “The Adjustment Bureau,”) and Bucky Barnes, or the Winter Soldier, played by Sebastian Stan (“Captain America: The Winter Soldier,” “Once Upon a Time,”) dealing with the passing on of their friend and super-ally, Captain America, aka Steve Rogers. Despite being the second miniseries from the super movie conglomerate, there are a few kinks they still need to work out. 

Marvel Studios

I think the best place to start when talking about this show is the characters and the chemistry of the two leads, the titular Falcon and Winter Soldier: Sam and Bucky. I think they are pretty goofy together and work very well like a couple of good pals. There are moments of light humor that quickly shift into some good fighting chemistry and sometimes end with both of them dealing with what happened in serious conversation. Sam and Bucky, and by extension Mackie and Stan, have good on-screen chemistry that started in the movies and is definitely the reason they were given this show. Next is an incredibly important character, Isaiah Bradley, who I really want to talk more about but I think it is best to watch his story for yourself and just experience him and why he is important. He is an important piece of not only the MCU but is also an important reflection of what real world historical images are created and what is hidden. HBO’s limited series adaptation of the graphic novel “Watchmen” does this as well and they do it incredibly well, but I would say the history of Isaiah Bradley is a more gut-wrenching and emotionally poignant story. Without spoiling much, his tale holds up a mirror to America’s history of systematic racism in a way only a superhero story can.

Just as much as this show tackles very serious subjects like race and institutional corruption, it also brings a refreshingly silly comic relief to many of its character moments. The cinematography also lends to the situation, being impressively animated during action scenes, but showing that charm and silliness of the characters when they quip or joke around. For example, because of some of this camera work I had a running joke with my roommates while watching that Anthony Mackie had a GoPro strapped to him at all times because the series constantly cut to a close up of his face while doing stunts aptly titled “Mackie Cam.”

Marvel Studios

Anyone who is in the pop culture space on Twitter has seen the video of Baron Zemo dancing in the club, so it is not much of a spoiler to say that returning from his only other appearance in the MCU in 2016’s “Captain America; Civil War,” is Baron Zemo, played by Daniel Brühl (“Rush,” “Inglourious Basterds”). Rather than being the show’s antagonist he is the “knows everyone and everything” character that helps the two leads get to the places they need. Brühl as Zemo is a delight. I liked him more as a villain in “Civil War,” but his help in progressing the story made it pretty interesting at times, taking them to interesting places like the fictional South Eastern Asian city of Madripoor. 

Another additional character that brought a lot to this series was former Captain of the United States Army, John Walker, played by Wyatt Russell (“Overlord,” “22 Jump Street”). I really liked Walker in every episode he was featured in. Walker is initiated by the United States military as the new Captain America despite the role originally being intended for Wilson, showing that they would rather choose a white soldier as America’s role model than a Black superhero. Fantastically portrayed by Russell, he starts off as a very unwanted character who then stems into someone you feel a little bad for and enjoy watching. But, in his final stretch you either really root for him or you really want him to fail. I personally rooted for him the whole way and without giving away his story, I think Marvel has some incredible potential with Walker in the future. He is cocky and charming yet not a complete jerk, and Russell’s performance is so good I am officially creating my second petition targeted towards Marvel to give a miniseries or movie series specifically for Wyatt Russell as John Walker in the future. My first petition is to give “Daredevil” a proper finale and fourth season, but I digress. Finishing off the list of notable characters is the antagonist, Karli Morgenthau, leader of the terrorist group The Flag Smashers. I don’t think it’s a hot take to say her story was very bland, rushed, unfinished and uninteresting. Erin Kellyman as Karli was fine at best. Her plot was really just a generic “villain wants to take over the world and anyone against us is bad” kind of story. I could not find any kind of interest in her story with the only exception being a conversation she has with Wilson about oppression and resistance. 

Marvel Studios

I went into this show not very excited because everything else Marvel had been putting out was big budget sci-fi focused, but for them to step back to espionage as their next step was a little strange. It is not very hard to get interested in this show, luckily. There are plenty of substories going on that quickly become “filler” content, although some of it is just fun. For every story that drags on there is one that is interesting and cool enough to keep you wanting to see the end. The finale is both a ‘hit’ and ‘miss’ episode that is a good amalgamation of all of the things the show was: fun, rushed, action-packed, long and filled with good character moments. I want more John Walker, I wish there were less subplots and I liked what I got. There is enough referential comic content to keep the nerds, like me, happy and enough visual spectacle to keep casual viewers interested. The story itself is fine and a bit predictable at times, the pacing is occasionally frustrating and the dialogue gets pretty dumb and irritatingly cliché at times. I found a lot to like and a lot to dislike out of this and I am still not sure which I prefer between “WandaVision” and “TFATWS” but I do think this was a step in a good direction for Marvel. I realize my grading system has always been horribly confusing thus far with the Collegian, so to simplify it I’ll just use letters. “The Falcon and The Winter Soldier” is a light to decent “C.” 

“Invincible” season one review: just shy of incredible

Arts & Entertainment

How the animated series refreshes pop culture TV 18 years after its source material did the same for comics.

Jake Eiseman, Editor

I know it is final exam season so not everyone has the time to devote to a new series right now. But, if you find time and are a fan of the superhero genre, this is a no brainer. To round out this year’s Collegian reviews, let’s take a look at….

Amazon Prime

Spoiler Warning: For those that haven’t had a chance to check out “Invincible” yet, or those who are just hearing about the series from this article, it is nearly impossible to discuss what makes it so special without discussing the events of the first episode. I will only be spoiling the first episode of the eight episode season in this review, so please go check out “Invincible” episode one: “It’s About Time” on Amazon Prime and then return to this review at your convenience. T/w: Extreme violence.

Okay, so with that out of the way. 

“Invincible” conquers one of the biggest challenges that superhero shows have: establishing a world, characters and rules in just one episode. The opening act of the first episode introduces us to a world where superheroes and supervillains roam the cities, where the United States government sponsors and organizes heroes through the Global Defense Agency, and our main character, Mark Grayson, a newly superpowered teen going by the name Invincible, the son of the world’s greatest superhero: Nolan Grayson aka Omni-Man. 

After establishing everything the viewer needs to know about the world, it continually adds on characters and plot lines that fit into its established rules until the very end of the episode. Every single thing the viewer has learned about this world is instantly brought into question as Omni-Man, the great hero that much of the story revolves around, brutally and disgustingly murders seven of the world’s most powerful heroes and role models. Not only does this bring to life the age old question of “what if Superman was a bad guy?” it also presents a world where there is an unstoppable force, and the only person who could possibly act as an immovable object is his own son who, despite his ironic name, is definitely not invincible.

Amazon Prime

Amazon made the right call pulling this plot twist to the first episode, as now the whole series is simultaneously an origin story of Invincible, as well as a fast moving bullet train of dramatic irony pushing these lovable characters into a horrifying situation where the strongest being on the planet becomes their enemy. The series sets its stakes, lets them breathe and tells us a story of an awkward teenager finding his way in the world to distract us from the implications of the carrot on a stick that is the massacre. I could write a whole dissertation on how the plot twist affects the viewer’s perspective on every other second of screen time either Mark or Nolan has, but anyone who has seen the series already feels that, as was intended by the showrunners.

On the subject of the series’s production: J.K. Simmons, Sandra Oh, Mahershala Ali, Zach Quinto, Steven Yeun, Mark Hamill, Jason Mantzoukas, Seth Rogan, Walton Goggins, Zazie Beetz, Justin Roiland, Reginald VelJohnson, the list goes on for voice talent. I know Amazon is producing this series and that means they could pay the Queen of England herself to be on the show if they wanted with all that money, but I was seriously not prepared for this number of talented actors to show up in such a niche series. Every character feels simultaneously real and heightened. J.K. Simmons as Omni-Man flips perfectly between fatherly and menacing, Steven Yeun as Invincible brings a sense of insecurity and youthful ignorance to a deeply passionate character, Sandra Oh as Debbie Grayson plays both the perfect mother and the perfect subject of grief and Jason Mantzoukas as Rex Splode makes every other character seem dull in comparison to his vibrant and erratic voice. The cast is unmatched in the animated space, and can only go up as the series gains popularity.

Beyond story and talent, though, the series’s presentation leaves a bit to be desired. Creating an animated series in the modern pop culture space can be daunting when the major hits are live action, big budget series like “Game of Thrones,” or recently “The Falcon and The Winter Soldier,” and the animation space already has similarly budgeted masterpieces like “Attack on Titan” or “Enter the Spider-Verse.” Animation is a lovely medium that should be supported because it allows voice actors to act up and accentuate, it can tell stories that are impossible to tell in live action without massive CG budgets and because it can create visual art that is unique to a showrunner or animator. While I will vouch that “Invincible” is a great series that realizes the creator’s unique vision, I would hesitate to call it a ‘great animated series.’

Amazon Prime

While the fight scenes and big set pieces can be visually interesting, a majority of the series are just PNGs of characters being moved around on screen. During the final episode, the series’s budget limits really show, employing the use of CG characters and low frame-rate animation that looks like an amateur YouTube project. Any time two characters are having a normal, non-superhero discussion on screen, I was completely enthralled by the complex story, relatable characters and voice talent, but what I was actually looking at was just a comic panel that was slightly animated at the head.

With that said, let’s talk about the animated elephant in the room: the extreme violence. “Invincible” is undeniably violence and gore porn that is unapologetically bloody and grotesque. And it is awesome. Amazon has tried their hand at these violent superhero stories before with “The Boys,” but “Invincible” takes it to the next level, making a series that borders on the horror genre because of its visuals. The violence is there — not for violence’s sake — but to create a sense of absolute dread for the characters. When Omni-Man chops someone’s head off, it isn’t for spectacle, but to show you that any character that gets into a fight with him should fear for their lives. When Invincible watches civilians be turned to red mist, it isn’t explicitly to shock the audience, it is to visually show them the helplessness Mark feels that he cannot save people, forcing him, and the audience, to view these traumatic sights. Although it can be a bit gratuitous at times, and it can definitely be criticized, I believe the violence is what drew me into the series, but it kept me with its strong world building and story.

Amazon Prime

Despite my nitpicks, “Invincible” is definitely a one of a kind series that already has me adding compendiums of its comics to my Amazon shopping cart (Funny how that works, huh Bezos?). The first season sets up so many threads and perfectly leads them along until all but some are paid off in the finale which may be one of the best episodes of TV Amazon has ever put out. “Invincible’ has already been greenlit for two more seasons, which is great news. The pacing in the first was so perfect not only because of its contained stories, but also the hints and wide reaching story ideas it began that will be explored in subsequent seasons. If you want to binge a short, expertly crafted series with strong characters, impressive concepts that break the superhero genre and extremely talented voice actors, give “Invincible” the time to blow your mind. On a scale from “Bad” to “Perfect” I’d say “Invincible” is “Excellent.”

Warren and Charlie meet in sunny California

Business

Michael D’Angelo, Staff

Vintage Value Investing

Pictured above is Berkshire Hathaway’s chairman and CEO Warren Buffet and Executive Vice Chairman Charlie Munger. Both men practice a value investing strategy and have created impressive returns for their shareholders.

Over the weekend, Berkshire Hathaway held their annual shareholder meeting in Los Angeles, California. For the first time ever in the company’s long history, they held a shareholder meeting outside of Omaha, Nebraska. The meeting was headed by Berkshire’s executive staff, CEO and Chairman Warren Buffet and Executive Vice Chairman Charlie Munger. 

Both Buffett and Munger are hailed as some of the greatest investors of all time. They believe in a value investing strategy influenced by the principles of Benjamin Graham. Graham is most famous for developing the Margin of Safety principle and for writing the finance classic “The Intelligent Investor.” In addition, they are greatly influenced by the strategies of Phil Fisher, the author of “Common Stocks and Uncommon Profits” who famously believed the best time to sell a stock is never. Buffett and Munger emphasize a long-term investing strategy with an emphasis of finding “cheap” companies that appear to be trading below book value in the market. They own portions of great American corporations like Coca-Cola, Apple, Bank of America, Verizon and American Express.             

At the meeting, Buffett and Munger fielded and answered various questions. With their growing age, they confirmed their eventual successor: Greg Abel, a current Vice Chairman, will take over as CEO and direct operations. Buffet emphasized his belief around stock picking for the average investor. He stated, “I do not think the average person can pick stocks.” His suggestion, instead, was to diversify into American equities and purchase a fund which follows the performance of the S&P 500. Buffet has made this point plenty of times in the past. 

Both Buffett and Munger took jabs at the recent rise in SPACs and believe more people are turning to the market in a gambling-like sense. Buffet even went as far as calling SPACs an “exaggerated form of gambling.” A SPAC is a company that raises money through an initial public offering (IPO) with no commercial operations to acquire another existing company. They grew in popularity in 2020 as both a speculative investment and a way for companies to raise capital. 

To add to the sense of increased gambling in the markets, Buffett and Munger stated their opinions about online trading app Robinhood. They both said the app encourages gambling due to the easy access of speculative call and put options. Munger even called the app shameful. In the past, they criticized Robinhood’s selling of order flow data and commission free trades. An executive from Robinhood responded by saying “the people are tired of the Buffets and Mungers of the world acting like they are the only oracles of investing.” The most controversial statement of the weekend was when Munger took a strong jab at cryptocurrency. He went so far as to say Bitcoin’s success is disgusting and contrary to the interests of civilization. In the past he has called Bitcoin “worthless artificial gold.” 

The meeting concluded and many people took an opportunity to analyze both Buffet and Munger’s statements. Both men have led Berkshire for decades with expectational investment returns and their statements may prove important for investors looking for guidance. 

La Salle announces interim president

News

Kylie McGovern, Editor

Header image: Tim O’Shaughnessy via @lasalleuniv on Instagram

On Monday, May 3, the La Salle University Board of Trustees and William Matthews sent an email to the Lasallian community announcing the new interim president. Previous Executive Vice President Tim O’Shaughnessy, ’85, will serve as the interim president beginning on June 1. This email announcement explained why the Board of Trustees was appointing an interim president rather than a permanent one and explained the process of finding a permanent president. 

On behalf of the Board of Trustees, Matthews wished Dr. Hanycz success in her new position at Xavier University. The email read, “the Board thanks Dr. Hanycz for six years of outstanding service and dedication to La Salle and wishes her and her family well as she begins this next chapter in her personal and professional journey.” In addition, the Board of Trustees commended Dr. Hanycz’s “forward momentum” and they want to continue this success with the next president at La Salle. 

In terms of choosing an interim president rather than a permanent president, the Board of Trustees sees the presidential search process requiring a significant amount of time and thoroughness. O’Shaughnessy is not a candidate for the permanent position, but he will serve as interim president during the presidential search process. The Board of Trustees wanted an interim president with senior administrative experience, a knowledge of Philadelphian Catholic education, an understanding of La Salle University and a commitment to the Lasallian mission. Interim President O’Shaughnessy will bring all of these qualities to his role according to the Board.

As for the search for a permanent president, there will be opportunities for the entire La Salle community to participate in the national search for the University’s 30th President. There will be a committee composed of faculty, staff, students, Christian Brothers, Trustees and alumni to create a broad representation of the entire La Salle community. Nominations for the University Presidential Search Committee are open until May 17. The Board of Trustees expects that a search committee will be established by July 1. After the committee is formed there will be listening sessions with the La Salle community on campus during the Fall 2021 semester. The Board of Trustees’ goal is to find and announce a new president in 2022.

Goals for the summer.

Satire

Claire Kunzier, Editor 

I have few goals set in stone for life in general, but many carved into stone like the 10 commandments for the summer of 2021. First of all, I’m double vaxxed, I will be having a social life with my friends who are also vaxxed, all of you who aren’t vaxxed stay away. Second, I am turning 21, so you know things will be messy and I will be looking for the beach all summer, shout out Snooki. Third, I will be tan, this is a given, but I have to throw this in here so people know what’s coming after I bake all day in the sun. Fourth, I am trying to remember everything and nothing at the same time. Make all the fun memories, but also have no idea who I am half of that time, very “Hangover” esque lifestyle. IF YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH ME, go away. IF YOU DO AGREE WITH ME, come here and let’s look for the beach while on it. 

Trouble facing U.S. forces leaving Afghanistan

Politics

Elizabeth Boyle, Staff

The Atlantic
Image depicts American troops in Afghanistan.

Last February, the Trump administration negotiated with the Taliban and a plan was agreed upon that U.S. troops would leave Afghanistan by May 1, 2021. President Biden decided to proceed with the plan to leave, but decided to adjust the timeline. Biden declared that all U.S. forces would leave Afghanistan by September 11, 2021, exactly 20 years after the attack on the U.S. by the Islamic extremist organization Al-Qaeda.

         Since the U.S. has failed to meet the agreed upon May 1 deadline, the Taliban has announced that it believes the U.S. has violated the terms agreed to in February 2020. At that time, the Taliban agreed not to attack U.S. troops through the May 1 deadline, and they did indeed stop the attacks. The Pentagon is now concerned that U.S. forces might be attacked while in the process of moving out because it is beyond May 1.      

The U.S. military tries to always be prepared for potential threats, and currently has an aircraft carrier nearby, and is ready to move multiple B-52 bombers as well as an Army Ranger task force into the area. The U.S. State Department has also instructed diplomatic personnel in Kabul, Afghanistan to vacate the country unless it is absolutely necessary that they remain. Military specialists say there is hope for a peaceful withdrawal but also potential for the Afghan government to fall soon after the U.S. departs.

Burned TF out.

Satire

Claire Kunzier, Editor 

We have hit the wall. Actually, we hit the concrete wall while on fire and riding a bike down a hill. During the first week of May, I have three papers, of course all six pages and up, that all need their own research and understanding and have nothing to do with the other. As the week progresses, everyone is going to start throwing things at me to do and then we have final exams. I could really use a day off La Salle because I’ve hit the biggest wall of my life and I don’t want to do anymore work. I am 100 percent sure that the majority of students across the world feel the same way that I do, a hasty assumption, but everyone hates the end of the semester. It’s like someone took the speed and turned it up to max and shit is just flying at our faces. 

If I were a marshmallow I would be burned and dropped into the fire to melt away into the abyss. That might be dramatic BUT I’M TIRED. Can I please get a minute to breathe, please?