The 2000 market crash often referred to as the “dot com bubble” was great for investors exposing their portfolio to the tech industry, realizing very high returns for a time. What happened after is irrelevant.
With financial markets experiencing depressed fixed income yields and spreads, investors have had to get creative when it comes to portfolio strategy and turning a buck during the pandemic. Luckily, some investors have hopped on a new wave that is surely keeping them hype and, at least emotionally, invested in the market. Bubble investing has been around since the inception of supply and demand markets, but never have investors been jumping through hoops for insanely overvalued investments like they have been today.
David Portnoy, Chief Market Strategist at Barstool Sports, or “Stool Presidente,” as his analysts call him, is the pioneer of the portfolio strategy. “Say it you cowards. Stocks only go up. Stocks only go up. Say the words Ron. I am your King,” Portnoy iterates time and time again in his annual research report to clients via Twitter. Sophisticated retail investors were quick to adopt Portnoy’s market strategies, flooding securities with, virtually, no cash flow, like Gamestop (NYSE: GME) and AMC Theatres (NYSE: AMC), realizing massive returns in the process (if one bought early enough, but that part’s irrelevant).
Even Fed Chair Jerome Powell has had a lot to say about asset valuations in markets to reporters after the Fed’s latest Federal Open Market Committee Hearing. “The market’s hot, baby, the market’s RED HOT. Fed’s getting in on this for sure, Gamestop to the moon, diamond hands my friends, DIAMOND HANDS.” Since the hearing, the Federal Reserve’s balance sheet is valued at approximately $7.72 trillion. Sources at the Fed confirm Powell has been pressuring analysts at the Reserve’s New York trading desks to “get their diamond hands on GME pronto.”
The Fed’s aggressive buying sprees have prompted some backlash among junior analysts working at the Central Bank. One analyst spoke to Collegian reporters on the condition of anonymity, “I sit at a desk and buy as many junk bonds as I can until the early morning. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep… At this point, I would rather be worked to an early grave by DJ D-Sol at Goldman.”
Powell responded to analysts’ claims of overwork with personal attacks. “Kids these days got no gumption, no spirit. Back in my day, we fueled financial crises 18 hours a day. We didn’t get Peloton bikes as participation awards either. Buncha pansies if you ask me.”
Anyways, what was I writing about again? Oh right, the 2020-21 bubble investing trend (craze). Bubble investing has been a mixed bag depending on who you are. If you’re an ambitious investor with a lot to lose and not a lot of know-how, then chances are this trend is perfect for you. Plus, you’ll be able to tell your friends you’re “in the market” at least for as long as your positions last. The future of investing is looking bright as of April 2021. Whether that bright light is a beautiful sunrise on the horizon or a nuclear bomb exploding in the distance, coming to vaporize all of our highly leveraged market positions, well, I guess that’s up to you to decide. Until next time, as the once-great Ben Affleck said in a famous coming-of-age movie, Good Will Hunting, “the business we have, here-to-for, you can speak to my aforementioned attorney. Good day, gentlemen, and until that day comes, keep your ear to the grindstone.” This is investing.
The La Salle Collegian 