Trump Organizes Militia and Storms Capitol Again, Still Defended by GOP

Foolegian

David O’Brien, Editor

The Postillion
Newly appointed Tzar Donald Trump riding into the sunset after vanquishing the radical left: the marxists, the anarchists, the agitators, the looters and the people who in many instances have no idea what they are doing.

Former President Donald Trump has once again called his supporters to action this week. After rallying a militia of patriots, the true, actual, real and rightful president led them into D.C. where he and his troops of pure-blooded patriots took back what was once taken from him. After initially dealing with the two capitol security guards in charge of defending the most important buildings in the nation, President-for-Life Trump and his forces of true Americans took back what was once taken from them. After doing so, he deposed all the “marxist” and “socialist” politicians and placed them on permanent leave to Guantanamo Bay. Afterwards, he replaced them with real red, white and blue blooded Americans. A man dressed as a viking is now speaker of the house.

After initial backlash from two republican politicians, the GOP has decided to support the second American revolution. The only two dissidenters have mysteriously disappeared. Senator and former presidential candidate Mitt Romney has been accused of being a Chinese spy by the Committee of Un-American Activities and is now on death row. Representative Liz Cheney has been drone striked at her home in Wyoming as reparations for her father’s actions in the Iraq war. Surprisingly enough, the rest of the GOP has fallen in line after these actions and support Trump’s new regime presidency because they are the party of patriotism, freedom and law and order, which Trump has always exemplified.

 Trump has just announced his new policy plans for his second term as president (which will last one thousand years rather than four. We usually would question whether or not he will last a full term, however, we all know the monarch will live eternally in the soul of America). He will first be abolishing all privatized news networks for being fake and dumb, and replacing them with a new news station run by the state. This is now the only accurate news source in the nation. He will also be erasing all of “liberal history” from school curriculums. While no one is exactly sure what this means, new textbooks are already being produced by Candace Owens, Tucker Carlson and Steven Bannon, some of the greatest historians in modern American according to the newly appointed god-emperor.

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