Interview: Pantalone on Pantalone

Foolegian, Uncategorized

Anthony Pantalone, Arts and Entertainment Editor

A couple weeks back, I had the chance to sit down with Anthony Pantalone for an interview. I would dare to say our exchange had been truculent yet illuminating for both parties. What follows is a transcript from our newspaper’s equivalent to Frost/Nixon.

Interviewer Anthony Pantalone (1): Hi! Thanks for taking the time to sit down with The Collegian today. We’re so excited to have you!

Interviewee Anthony Pantalone (2): Yeah, okay. Well, thank you. I guess I’m here.

Pantalone 1: So let’s get right into it! Please talk about some of the work you do.

Pantalone 2: Well, what do you want to hear? Everything you do, I do better. You throw out shoddy articles week by week and hope by the grace of God that something sticks to the wall. I sit down and actually think before I write. I don’t have to worry about deadlines, because the work I put out is genuinely good. People may or may not even waste two minutes of their day to read it.

(Pause for a minute)

Pantalone 1: Haha, okay! Well, um, let’s move on—

Pantalone 2: Let me be real honest with you for a second. What do you do? Like what do you actually do here?

Pantalone 1: I’m…I’m sorry, I am not sure what you mean.

Pantalone 2: What things of value are you actually giving us? Wait, let’s get to the root of it. What is this we’re doing right now? A vanity project? Narcissism? Hmm…maybe self-deprecation taking on a life of its own?

Pantalone 1: Uh well—

Pantalone 2: Look at me. No, look up. Look at me. Wow, are you gonna cry?

(long silence)

Pantalone 1: Your hair looks #@%&ing stupid.

(crashes and unintelligible yells)

End of Interview

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