Ethan McGlone, Staff Writer

Philadelphia Mayor Jim Kenney passed a massive $200 infrastructure bill to help better the city, including the implementation of more potholes for city streets, more specifically major roads that get driven on daily. The plan seeks to lessen the unemployment rate of the city by hiring homeless individuals to smash streets with sledgehammers, leaving devastating, tire-destroying potholes. They will be paid in drinkable tap water, a very new luxury in Philadelphia. However, this bill does not come without its fair share of criticisms from the Anti-Kenney crew.

Critics have been extremely vocal in the past week, with complaints ranging from “What the hell is this?” to “I just want clean water man.” Kenney has responded, however. He claims that the cars that drive the city streets have gotten “a false sense of security” over the past few months. He hopes this bill can give Philadelphia cars “some more character”. Kenney said he decided which streets to destroy by throwing darts at a city map and sending the sledgehammers to the spots pierced from his darts. God has laid its destructive hand on his people; seek shelter. From the Collegian newspaper, this is Ethan McGlone reporting.