We Are District 12.

Satire

Emily Allgair, Editor

Maybe I was just a big Suzanne Collins fan as a child, but with the Grammy’s being this past weekend and the Paris Fashion Week happening at the end of last month I’ve really been putting the pieces together. 

If you look at a map of Panem, Pennsylvania is District 12; with the coal mines and just the geographical placement of the district, it really is quite clear. There’s also a big emphasis on hunting, and while Philadelphia may not have experienced having off school on the first day of hunting season, many other PA cities and towns grew up doing so. 

But, for the real evidence of my conclusion: the Capitol. Let’s take a look at some of the fashion from the previously mentioned events.

First up, Kylie Jenner with a (hopefully fake, but definitely real-looking) lion head on her dress. Like what?

via Page Six Style

Next, Doja Cat with 30,000 Swaroski crystals. As if that doesn’t scream ‘Wealth.’

via Page Six Style

Now, a little comparison for you. First, Miss Effie Trinket from The Hunger Games

via eonline.com

And here, Lizzo from the 65th Grammy Awards. Like be effing for real. 

via people.com

And we wait in anticipation for the next award ceremony to come around for the fits, like we aren’t part of the problem. And hey, the outfits and gowns are exciting, I agree, but all I’m getting at is that when we start choosing kids to fit to the death in an arena for entertainment, don’t be surprised. (That might be a stretch but you see where I’m coming from.)

So when March rolls around and you wait in excitement for the 95th Academy Awards, be a little more skeptical about how highly we admire these celebs and, of course, may the odds be ever in your favor.

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