Ankle Socks

Satire

Emily Allgair, Editor

via Ashley Weston

Let’s face it. Some people are not made for ankle socks, and that’s fine! It becomes an issue, however, when the people that aren’t made for ankle socks wear ankle socks. 

People with an actual sense of style: you aren’t really my target audience, but you shouldn’t wear ankle socks with Birkenstocks and shorts, unless you’re getting your laundry and just needed to slip on some shoes. But if you’re going out in public, ankle socks probably shouldn’t be paired with sandals. (With that being said, I am pro socks and sandals. Possibly a hot take…)

Men: you are my main focus here. Sorry, but also not sorry. I think seeing where your leg hair stops is weird, and wearing ankle socks only draws attention to that area of your leg. Some of you can pull it off, but if you aren’t sure if you fall into that category, then just play it safe and skip the ankle socks. And being totally honest, those that ‘pull it off’ aren’t actually making it work, you’re just barely passing by.

Even if you’re wearing jeans and you think we can’t see your ankles, we absolutely can. In fact, this exact situation is what inspired this article. So yeah, you definitely aren’t as subtle and slick and you think. 

Moral of the story, just wear longer socks. Maybe not knee-highs, but honestly that’d be better than ankle socks. By a significant margin.

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