Nicholas Signoretta, Editor

La Salle Women’s Water Polo v. Charleston Women’s Lacrosse. (c. 2023 colorized)
With one foot already dipping into the pool of satirical nonsense after my most recent journalism effort, this week felt like a good time to harness whatever decency I had left in the tank to conjure up an article so ripe with incomprehensible garbage and gaslighting that it could be sighted whenever I am ultimately fired from The Collegian as one of its sports editors. The following piece will feature no mention of one sport I have admitted having little to no knowledge about but will instead focus on a second sport that I cannot comprehend and have watched enough matches to still count on one finger (I did thoroughly enjoy the little bit I saw. Makes me wish we had more than one home weekend).
La Salle women’s water polo hosted the likes of Long Island University, Villanova, Virginia Military Institute, and Wagner this past weekend at La Salle’s very own Kirk Pool for some in-conference clashes. The Explorers opened their weekend with a double-header on Saturday, March 25th. The first fixture of the day featured the VMI Keydets (3-10, 0-3), a team that La Salle would end up dismantling by a scoreline of 17-6. The Explorers opened the game with 6-0 run and would stretch their lead as far as thirteen goals when they took a 14-1 advantage late in the 3rd Period. Shanna Zuanich paced La Salle’s offense with four goals while Hannah Woren clocked in three assists. Emma Gurasich and Caitlin Valentine combined for eleven saves in net.

Paige Mitchell prepares to release a rocket in La Salle’s win over VMI. (courtesy of @lasallewaterpolo)
La Salle followed up their early game with another matchup just a few hours later as they faced off against the #17 Wagner Seahawks (22-5, 5-0). The Explorers fell to the Seahawks just a week prior to the tune of 16-7, so this week’s matchup was a chance at redemption on home… water? A dominant 2nd Period from Wagner saw the Seahawks take a 7-2 lead into halftime, but the Explorers used an offensive burst in the 4th Period to cut the lead to 13-10 with some time left on the clock. Unfortunately, Wagner stymied La Salle’s remaining comeback efforts as the final score read 15-12 in favor of the Seahawks. Francesca Co’ and Madelyn Koerper each turned in four goal performances, with Co’ also contributing two assists. Gurasich stood strong in net, totaling twelve saves in the match.

Emma Gurasich extends to make a great save in La Salle’s loss to Wagner. (courtesy of @lasallewaterpolo)
La Salle wrapped up their homestand with a matchup against the Villanova Wildcats (13-13, 3-3) on Sunday, March 26th. The game was also doubling as the Explorers’ Senior Day, so hopes were high to send the squad’s veteran out on a strong ending at Kirk Pool. The matchup played out as a narrow and thrilling affair, with La Salle maintaining slim leads before Villanova would find an eventual equalizer. Tragedy struck late in the 4th Period when the Wildcats took their first lead since the opening moments of the game to seize a 9-8 lead that would stand as the contest’s final tally.

Hannah Woren has her eyes set on goal in La Salle’s narrow loss to Villanova. (courtesy of @lasallewaterpolo)
La Salle (11-12, 1-4) continues their push for the MAAC Championship next week when they travel to Lexington, Virginia. Their weekend will feature Saturday, April 1st matchups against the Siena Saints (4-16, 0-5) and the Iona Gaels (11-8, 3-2), while Sunday, April 2nd will see the girls take on the Marist Red Foxes (15-6, 5-0). The Siena matchup will take place at 11:20AM EST, the Iona game at 6PM EST, and the Marist clash at 11:20AM EST. Whether I will be reporting on these games is in question. I like to keep my writing… unpredictable these days.