By: Ethan McGlone
No one can truly know the type of person someone is behind the scenes. We all put on masks, some greater than others, and the White King is no exception to this. Earlier this week, tragic news struck the chess world. The White Rook spoke with our correspondents. “We all spent our entire lives defending this guy and for what? He’s a racist jerk.” Tweets resurfaced from the White King’s childhood where he berated the Black Dark-Squared Bishop in racist tirades throughout multiple tweets. We could not get into contact with the White Queen surrounding this issue.
Some examples of these disgraceful tweets are as follows:
“No game of chess is fair. The Dark Squared Black Bishop literally can jump 2 spaces higher than my white bishops.”
“Everybody cries when the Dark Squared Black Bishop gets captured, but where’s this outcry for the countless number of white pieces that are captured.”
“White Piece Lives Matter”
We did receive an email, however, from the victim of the 25 tweets dating back to 2012. “Fork him.” Needless to say, the Black Dark-Squared Bishop is not a fan of the White King. The scariest part of this whole story for the White Pawns is that anybody could be secretly carrying these thoughts inside. “There was no way of us even knowing he felt this way about the black pieces. Sure, he had a confederate flag in his house, a Blue Lives Matter bumper sticker, a Steven Crowder mug, and a Let’s Go Brandon shirt collection (7 in total), but how could we have known he was racist. It’s impossible to truly know.” From the Collegian newspaper, this is Ethan McGlone reporting.
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One thought on “White Pieces Refuse to Protect King after Racist Tweets from His Past Resurface”
Hey man, at the end of the day, both the pawn and the king end up in the same box. Think about that.