“Disorderly Conduct”

Satire

Emily Allgair, Editor

This article is inspired by a conversation that was held on the mobile app ‘Citizen.’

I’m not saying that we were in the right, but we definitely weren’t in the wrong in any way. The alley isn’t on any property that belongs to people other than the students. We don’t have to worry about non-La Salle affiliates living in our neighborhood, especially considering that the alley belongs to us and not those who also pay to live there, too!

If for some reason people in the neighborhood forget that they live across from a college, they should probably pack up their entire lives and find a place that is way cheaper, you know, like anywhere in the increasingly gentrified areas of Philly. It’s not like the people who aren’t affiliated with La Salle plan on being here longer than four years. Haven’t they ever heard of seniority?

Plus, La Salle is a dry campus. I know that you’re probably wondering how they were serving alcohol on 20th this past weekend and at sports games if that sentiment is true, but trust me, no one is allowed to drink on our campus – just ask the security guards that don’t let the townies inhabitants bring in six pack after six pack through the gate! So, we have to drink in the alley – it’s quite literally the only place that alcohol is allowed to be consumed throughout our dry campus, not to mention that drinking in the alley is our God-given right.

And if your main concern is the littering that occurs, in a small amount may I add, don’t worry! Often enough for the people of Olney’s neighborhoods to notice, we hold trash bashes and community clean-ups to better the environment of our campus. If we aren’t in the classroom, we’re walking up and down Olney with trash bags in-hand! 

As for our participation in the community, La Salle students are arguably more involved in the neighborhood community than they are in school-affiliated extracurriculars. We attend every single neighborhood-sponsored community outreach and community clean-up. We feel a strong connection to our neighbors and look forward to building this sense of community, offering them our personal beer, liquor and a bunch of food, and especially when speaking to them on threads about us on Citizen!

If you take one thing away from this article, I hope it’s that La Salle students view this neighborhood as way more than a place to use at the expense of those that live here, but rather as a place that we should leave better than we found it. And if you’re struggling to find my article to be a dependably accurate reflection of the feelings of those within the neighborhood of Olney, just check our Instagram pages, a social media platform (run by us) that is way more reliable than the voices of those who share our community!

via Citizen App

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