The Worst Halloween Costumes

Satire

Emily Allgair, Editor

via Reader’s Digest

FYI: This is a personal list of the costumes I saw both in person and online, and if your costume ended up here, don’t take it personally. But also, do better.

Wearing a dress and one other thing

Whether it’s a crown or a pair of wings or a firefighter hat, there’s no creativity. You can’t say your favorite holiday is Halloween then not ball out, you know? Like a dress from Shein isn’t gonna cut it ever, not even this year.

Ski masks

This is mainly targeted towards my male readers, but if you are wearing a ski mask as your costume, just know you’re scaring any woman within your presence. And I get it, Halloween is supposed to be spooky, but if you have a bad reputation within the party setting on the regular, hiding your face isn’t a good call (and yes, this is definitely a call out to who you think it is). 

Any onesie ever

Just a cop out. Be creative, do better.

A Vampire

To clarify, you’re wearing the Urban Outfitter’s corset top and fake blood. Not even an attempt at fangs. If you’re Count Dracula or the Count of Sesame Street culture, you shouldn’t be worried about this one.

Superhero Suits

I’m talking the skintight, can-see-every-curve-of-your-body tight. Noah fence to anyone who wore this, but when it comes to any private area of your body that I don’t want to see the imprint of on any given day, this doesn’t change on Halloween night. 

Any costume where you self-tanned beyond your natural complexion 

No explanation needed.

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