David O’Brien, Managing Editor

Enrique puts chili powder on apples. Enrique’s butt is always sticking out of his pants. Enrique always talks about how much he hates food on campus, but then makes me go get him food from the vending machine at like 2 a.m. One time he asked me to make him toast, then he was like only one slice. THEN he was like oh sorry David, can you make me more toast and it’s like no dude YOU said you only wanted one slice. This is not a rare occurrence. Enrique never goes to class and I’m always like “hey are you coming with me today” and he’s like “yeah I am” then like a minute before he texts me saying he won’t. Like bro, you pay to get an education, go to class. He spends like an hour in the shower and it’s like dude just hurry up we all have places to be, yet somehow he’s still smelly. Also, he always wears his roommate’s shoes and it’s like bro just buy your own shoes, you aren’t supposed to share shoes! Enrique makes fun of me all the time for drinking milk, but he hands me a glass several times and says “drink your milk, it’s creamy” then he proceeds to drink it himself. In conclusion, Enrique sucks and I hate him and everyone else should.