The attack of the cicadas.

Satire

Claire Kunzier, Editor 

This year couldn’t get any worse, or so we thought. Apparently, every 17 years, BILLIONS of cicadas emerge from ground on the east coast and guess where La Salle is? On the east coast. We’ve had a worldwide pandemic that killed millions of people, a president that caused an insurrection after he lost and now the cicadas are going to take over the ecosphere of the east coast. The night is going to be filled with the sounds of cicadas, the trees will be filled to the brim with cicadas, who knows, maybe if we’re lucky they’ll kill all the leftover lantern flies. The year went from, yay the vaccine maybe a normal summer, to, omg why tf are there cicadas everywhere?!? 

I think we should’ve planned everything better. If we did what Australia and New Zealand did with kicking everyone out and locking everything down, maybe, just maybe, we could’ve had this pandemic kicked last year in the U.S. and the cicadas would’ve been our only problem. Beggars can’t be choosers, but I know that I’m gonna have a natural sound machine when I fall asleep this summer.

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