America’s oligarchy crisis: keeping power in the right hands

Satire

Matthew J. Bera, Editor

In his farewell address, President Joe Biden issued a grave warning about the newly emerging grip of oligarchy in America.

At no point in history has this reality been more apparent than today, as figures like Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos wield unprecedented control over public discourse and policy.

As the former president rightly underscored the dangers posed by a powerful few, a select group of influential voices remains steadfast in its mission to safeguard democracy.

“The key to a strong democracy is ensuring that power remains in the hands of the people,” said George Soros, a well-known philanthropist who emphasized the importance of protecting democratic institutions. “That’s why I’ve been dedicating so many of my resources to groups that ensure the right people are elected—because when the right people guide progress, everyone benefits.”

Facebook co-founder Dustin Moskovitz echoed the sentiment. “It’s critical that we safeguard democracy from undue influence,” he said, warning of the dangers of unchecked oligarchic power. “We need to hold these billionaires accountable.”

“Frankly, I think billionaires should not be allowed to run for office—it’s downright dangerous,” said Michael Bloomberg, former mayor and longtime advocate for civic engagement. “We have to put an end to this sorry chapter in American history where people buy their way to the White House.”

Bill Gates, co-founder of Microsoft and global philanthropist, added his voice to the discussion.

“Trump showed us what happens when a billionaire’s self-interest outweighs the good of the people,” he remarked. “We must remain cautious of the dangers posed by unchecked wealth and monopolistic influence.”

Netflix co-founder Reed Hastings also weighed in with characteristic bluntness. “I’m just shocked Trump would be so brazen about it,” he said during an interview conducted from his California estate. “At least try to hide the fact that your entire campaign was funded by the ultra-wealthy.”

“The super-rich need to stop meddling in democracy,” Disney heiress and philanthropist Abigail Disney said, warning of the dangers posed when politicians succumb to the influence of their wealthy donors. “Oligarchy cannot be born from the political fear of upsetting the super-rich.”

In a time of much uncertainty and blatant misuses of justice, these guardians of democracy are unwavering in their commitment to protect the nation from kleptocracy. Biden’s message to the American people about the encroaching oligarchic dominance looming over America remains more important than ever with this new administration.

Biden in the Oval Office via WikiCommons

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