The Editorial Board

La Salle University is evolving everyday: new programs, new buildings and new ideas. Yet, in spite of all of this “new” our institution is manifesting, one thing seems to never change: the fact that we have professors teaching students in classes. Professors have had their place at La Salle University since its inception, and their presence still does not seem to be waning. Where is the innovation in this antiquated concept of “professors”? If La Salle wants to compete with other colleges and universities, it is clear what it must do: replace the entire faculty with consultants.

Firstly, the University should hire consultants in place of faculty because they would be able to offer their education expertise to the University community. Unlike the professors at La Salle, these private consultants working with higher education institutions have a pulse on the specific needs of La Salle students. For too long professors at this institution have used their time in the classroom to ramble about their personal research and areas of intellectual interest. It is clear that the curriculum could use a revamp. If the consultants were to seize the curriculum, in theory, they could create more productive programming in which students would only take classes in business and strategic communication. This outside perspective would not only save students time and energy, but also prepare students for the outside world.

Secondly, the replacement of faculty with outside consultants will not only be innovative but also cost-effective. As a financially-struggling institution, naturally La Salle must make cuts where necessary. La Salle made a prudent decision in firing dozens of faculty and staff in the past year, but for the best results, the University must take it to the next step and fire the entire faculty. After all, with members of the faculty raking in millions after taxes, the cost of providing education to students is simply too great to justify a fleet of professors. If the University were to partner with a large-scale consulting firm, they could outsource the labor at a cheaper cost, helping the institution’s pockets. With the funds saved from this endeavor, 20th and Olney could be the University’s oyster.

Have professors made a positive impact on La Salle University? Sure, but one thing is for certain: everyone is replaceable. We have proven time after time that we can move past these trivial traditions and bounce back bigger and better as a community. It doesn’t matter that La Salle is a teaching university. It doesn’t matter that La Salle has tenured and experienced faculty. What matters is that we are doing everything we can as an institution to bring La Salle into the 21st century and if that means firing the entire faculty and bringing in outside help, so be it.

If you are wholly convinced as to why the University should make this crucial move for future generations of La Salle students, sign the petition here and make La Salle great again.

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Disclaimer: This article is a satirical piece in participation of the Collegian’s annual special issue, “The Foolegian.”