Kenneth Lynch, Staff Writer

VARIABLES

Dozens of different variables and letters, the “x”’ is involved and you are asking “y”? I am here to lecture you that math is equivalent to a mental breakdown. Some might say they lead to breakdowns, but that’s a different story… Every person you meet represents a letter, in one form or another, and they are involved in an equation. They either help you get the answer or are the problem. How many letters are creating problems in your life? Once you figure that out, ask yourself: is your equation solved? Solving one equation often leads to the spiral of another problem. 

EQUATIONS

The most challenging equations are those where you are unsure of where to start. Despite your efforts to solve them, you realize the problem might be unsolvable. Such friendships should not exist. However, there are times when an equation has repeated occurrences of the same letter, it becomes solvable. These often symbolize social circles, friend groups or family members. When these variables balance each other out, they vanish from your equation, leaving you with nothing.

EXPONENTS
The most irritating type of equations are when they are squared or even cubed. This means they are one problem times itself two or three times. These equations often represent doubt or self-deprecating individuals in relationships (whether they are romantic or platonic). You belittle yourself so much that the variable in your life increasingly feeds on your own worries.

RADICALS

When people say they don’t like change, I say, “Wait until you meet a constant.” I am not much of an outside type person, so I often take coverage within my radical. My friends who are outside of my shelter invite me to leave my roots, but when I do, I constantly feel like the odd one out.

FRACTIONS

Do not get me started about numerators or denominators. I have friends that prioritize their needs over me. You can see this recurring pattern with people when they cannot progress in life unless their friends in the denominator are all the same. The only time it is acceptable to be in the bottom is when you are their “1.” A fraction over one can be simplified to the value on the top. In this case, they view you as an equal to them. Keep those friends.

NUMBERS

Numbers kind of suck. A timeline of infinite numbers that decides your future. Four numbers announce the year of your graduation, a group of digits that rely on whether or not you eat or starve another day, the number of likes on a blatant, over-brightened beach post. Time is moving pretty fast. 1,568 days ago I was thirteen, and in sixty five days, I will be nineteen. I despise birthdays. They reveal ages and act as a reminder of how close you are to receiving the time of your death. A timeline of people predicted to be wiped out by the minute hands. 

Joseph Battista, Editor

Getting canceled on has to be in the top three worst feelings in the world. Honestly, I am pretty sure animals feel it too: I’ve seen the pain in my dog’s eyes when the daily walk is skipped. Like forgetting about leftovers after they’re too far gone, the feeling is an indescribable anguish of what could have been but never was. Sadly, for fans of the Looney Tunes, this is reality. Warner Bros. canceled the Looney Tunes film “Coyote vs. Acme,” a fully finished $70 million production, in November 2023.

Sit in the shoes of a Looney Tooner. It has been a year since the announcement trailer for your favorite franchise’s next release. Eagerly, you have waited in anticipation for the release. But then, the movie gets canceled. Worst of all, the movie is fully finished but not worth the effort of releasing, so it will be shelved away for you to never see just to save the producer’s pockets. Unless there were changes that allowed companies to save some coin on canceled projects while still allowing the public access.

Discarding finished movies for profit’s sake sucks, not only for franchise fans but for everyone. It restricts the breadth of expression art provides. No longer can these films entertain or inspire. Yet, that was their whole purpose, the reason teams sunk hours of effort and passion into the project to begin with. Warner Bros. is the only winner in this situation, while everyone else suffers a loss.

This film is not the first, but the third sacrificial lamb to the god known as tax write-offs for Warner Bros., the previous two being, “Batgirl” and “Scoob Holiday Haunt”. Warner Bros. has not cited a reason for the cancellation. But, Deadline reports the film’s cancellation is being used as a $30 million tax write-down, shown in Warner Bros. Q3 reports. Likely, these films were projected to be monetary losses, after marketing costs are factored in, so despite their completion, they are cut so that company profits can be preserved.

A simple proposal that likely is way more nuanced (which is for the professionals to work out, not me) is for the IRS to allow these canceled films to be released by a medium that cannot generate profit for the organization. Perhaps the film can be donated to a non-profit to host, a government database, or something of the like. It would be like Daffy Duck coming back from the dead, reanimated for his fan’s excitement. Publishers of the film could maintain the goodwill of fans while also getting their cost savings.

Joseph Battista, Editor

If you Google the Kids Online Safety Act (KOSA) and click through a few links, you’ll notice polarizing results. Of these, two stances likely dominated the search: those supporting KOSA and those opposing KOSA. The source you read will paint a drastically different reality of the situation. At least, it did for me. I drank the Kool-Aid… In a heroic sacrifice to save others from this fated path, I will explain both stances.

So, what is KOSA? According to the legislative bill itself and KOSA’s supporters, it is a means of protecting youth, specifically 13 or under, from harmful content on online social platforms through regulations. But, according to opposition, such as the Electronic Frontier Foundation and Stop KOSA, it is a censorship bill that threatens online freedoms for all internet users. As you can see, one side is sunshine and rainbows for the children, and the other, an eternal hellscape for everyone, with evil giant praying mantis overlords.

The generalized opposition’s stance is that KOSA may seem beneficial, but censorship of content creates potential for a dangerous future, especially considering possible penalties for KOSA non-compliers. The current state of book censorship in schools establishes a precedent that stirs concern. A majority of banned books feature LGBTQ+ or characters within marginalized groups, themes of race and racism and sexual education, according to Pen America. What will the internet look like if censorship follows the same trend?

Additionally, a concern for data privacy is raised. Electronic Frontier Foundation states that official documents could be needed to confirm a user’s age, in order to access the uncensored internet. Effectively, a user is tied to their legal identity. Those who refuse to provide documentation, for privacy’s sake, maybe they want to feet fiend in anonymity, will be surfing the same internet as Cocomelon’s biggest fans. Their perception of KOSA creates a bleak future, but is this the actual case?

KOSA’s current iteration does not seem to reflect the concerns that opposers raise. Senator Blumenthal, who proposed the KOSA bill in 2022, describes the revised legislation on his website. To begin, the bill focuses on holding social platforms responsible for the duty of care of users under the age of 13. Simply put, these platforms need to take greater responsibility in how content is served to youth. 

Mature content themes such as suicide, eating disorders and substance abuse should not be recommended to youth by algorithms under duty of care. Additionally, features that increase user consumption would not be enabled like auto-play features and push notifications.

The bill does not require users to report their age through documentation, and only applies to social sites that require an age to make a profile, not blogs or other smaller independent sites. Censorship of content in the larger scope will not be necessary; organizations are not held liable for mature content hosted. Everyone loves the occasional YouTube with dinner, but now algorithms can’t serve children their dinner with a lukewarm side of LiveLeak’s top trending. 

KOSA appears to be a rallying cry for a safer internet for children, rather than an impending dictatorship where flesh is currency. The discrepancies between stances are large. This may be because of the bill’s previous stricter iterations leaving opponents with a sour taste, or the vague description of penalties for non-compliers and some abstractness in its text. Regardless, these are the stances, and both present fair concerns. Do you stand with or against KOSA? Your decision will shape the internet’s future.

Joseph Battista, Editor

Going out to eat and ordering one dish that costs at least $20 sucks. American dining has it wrong, and let me tell you why.

It’s that night, the type of night where a fancy meal perches the mind, as if an oracle willed it. You must make that meal, for the prophecy requires it. So off to the store you go, gathering all the ingredients needed, and going home to cook. 

The results: a nice dinner with maybe a veggie and carb, at least an hour’s worth of time sacrificed for preparation and cleaning and handfuls of organics just itching to rot. Satisfied, yet feeling bittersweet with the results, a decision is made: “next time, I’ll just go out to eat. I can get more than just one food without the hassle, and I won’t have to figure out uses for the leftover ingredients.”

That is the beauty of restaurants. You get the food you want with zero hassle: No preparation, no dishes, no need to shove extra ingredients into other meals. Big dinner desires strike again. This time, instead of going to the store, you follow your resolution and find yourself seated comfortably in a booth with a sultry gaze tracing over that sweet laminated menu.

There are so many choices, all equally tasty, yet one entree is filling and expensive enough. The wallet, nor stomach, can handle the glutinous goblin ordering two entrees. Being realistic, you pick one and order. The food was enjoyable, but that sweet summer child, being your second or third food choice, lingers.

The life you could have lived if you had both dinners, they were so close to your grasp. Yet the American dining etiquette, being ordering one oversized meal, kept you apart. Cooking two different dishes at once back home is an insurmountable feat, unless you want to drown in extra vegetables and dirty dishes.

A restaurant is the perfect place to order multiple dishes, yet they’re served so large. Shifting to smaller portions or plates, meant to be shared, begins a feast of variety. Sure, a counter-argument is to order appetizers or share entrees. The appetizer idea falls apart when the usual suspects of most American restaurants are potato skins, boneless wings, and house soup. Entrees themselves you could share, but many are catered toward one eater. How does one split a chicken cutlet or burger? Who chooses the bigger piece?

Restaurants are best equipped to cook a variety. They have the resources and demand to do so, unlike a home. All that is needed is an industry shift towards smaller entrees. Keep the menu the same, if desired, just make it feasible to order more than one entree. 

European and Asian cuisine have the small plates game down. It gives dining out a more fun, experimental feel. American cuisine simply needs to distance itself from the big burger and embrace the little-guy sliders.

Claire Herquet, Staff

It is no secret that many of us Christmas-lovers begin decorating, celebrating or holiday shopping once the clock hits 12 a.m. on Nov. 1. It is also no secret that this subject may be a little touchy for some people out there! Many like to begin their Christmas festivities in early November, while others follow the tradition of waiting until after Thanksgiving to kick off the Christmas season. Personally, I can testify that at the point of drafting this article, I have yet to hear any holiday music on the radio or in retail stores, but a beloved Christmas tree and decorations are all set up at my job. 

Philadelphia visitors and residents are usually aware of and enjoy checking out the Christmas Village every year, located in LOVE Park right off of Arch Street. Walking through the crowd of shoppers to peruse through all the vendors and small businesses is a must-do tradition for Philly locals. Upon the choice to open the village on Thanksgiving Day following the parade in the morning, it may influence the local public to start celebrating after their huge dinners on Thursday night.  

Perhaps Mariah Carey’s YouTube video entitled “Mariah Carey – IT’S TIME!!,” featuring a background of snow falling and her biggest hit “All I Want For Christmas Is You,” tells viewers that Carey begins celebrating right after Halloween, as the video made its premiere on Nov. 1.  

As students at La Salle, we may be curious as to what side of the equation the University is on. Do La Salle leaders and officials take their time enjoying the autumnal Thanksgiving season filled with turkey and mashed potatoes? Since a poster saying “La Salle University wishes you and your family A Blessed Christmas” was put up on the blue bridge on Nov. 15, they have made their standpoint on the debate noticeably clear.  

Ultimately, this debate undermines the importance of cherishing both holidays. Whether you choose to deck the halls in November or patiently wait until the arrival of December, the joy and gratitude that these celebrations and traditions bring is what really matters, right? Nonetheless, whether you’re spreading holiday cheer like confetti or patiently waiting for the last bite of stuffing to disappear, let’s agree on one thing: the real winners are the ones who embrace the laughter and love that comes with the holiday season, regardless of whether the mistletoe is hung up over the Thanksgiving table or the Christmas tree. 

Joseph Battista

We as humans are stressed, overburdened and time-constrained. The seventy foot long to-do list that seems to grow with no end has overstayed its welcome. Demands are countless, from work and school to house chores. It can feel like something always needs doing. Time to relax and destress seems like a commodity worth more than gold.

Yet, when does one have the time? After a long day out and about, you get home at 6pm, make dinner, wash the dishes and finally have a chance to watch a movie,“relax” by 7:30. Is it really relaxation? Stress still stews in the mind, leaving you unable to fully enjoy that comfy couch.

There is a remedy, a way to enjoy the lovely couch to its fullest potential. That being meditation. Meditation comes in various forms, yet some forms can be more time consuming than others. The stereotypical idea of meditation involves an empty mind and stillness for long periods of time, which can be hard to practice during busy days. If relaxation is a commodity, why spend it doing nothing? Immersive meditation solves this issue by being practicable during tasks, even on the busiest days.

This form of meditation turns the most mundane and boring tasks, like cleaning dishes, into an opportunity to experience serenity. When immersed fully in a task, the mind focuses solely on the present action and no external thoughts arise. From this focus, the mind experiences mental clarity, peace and a sense of refreshment. Practicing this form of meditation is best with simple tasks, like doing dishes. Complex tasks require greater effort, which increases the chance of stress, defeating the point of meditation. 

Achieving meditative immersion in a task can seem difficult, but it is doable with the right practices. Two simple practices are controlled breathing and sensory focus. Breathing techniques increase focus and reduce stress according to Berkeley. Practicing breathing technique is as simple as controlling your inhales and exhales to 2 second intervals. Sensory focus is the concentration on how the senses perceive the task at hand. For example, while washing dishes hear the water rushing from the faucet, feel the sponge suds up cleaning the dishes. 

These practices help keep the mind immersed in a task. Intruding thoughts will have little room to distract from meditation with the mind occupied.

Meditation provides multiple benefits, and its impact varies by person. Common long-lasting benefits are: better mental well-being, improvement in focus, stable emotions, an increase in creativity and better sleep, according to Mayo Clinic. Next time you are doing chores, practice immersive meditation and see how you feel after. It costs zero extra time for an immeasurable benefit, a healthier mind. 

Sam Klein, Editor

It’s that time of year again! The leaves are turning and the weather’s getting colder, which can only mean pumpkin, apple and cinnamon flavors have taken over Starbucks! Below is a subjective guide as to which drinks are a trick, and which are treats this fall!

1. Pumpkin Spiced Latte

–   Description: “Espresso and steamed milk with pumpkin, cinnamon and nutmeg flavors, topped with whipped cream.”

–   Price: $5.95

–   Nutrition Facts: 390 calories, 50g sugar

–   Rating: 6.5/10

–   Rationale: This was my first ever pumpkin spiced latte, and I was slightly disappointed. I had expected much more from the drink, as I have heard raving reviews about it, but enjoyed it, nonetheless. It had less flavor than anticipated, but enough pumpkin to get me in the fall mood! Would definitely have again but it wouldn’t be my first choice.

2. Apple Crisp Oat Milk Macchiato 

–   Description: “Layered flavors of apple, cinnamon, oats and brown sugar harmonize with Starbucks® Blonde Espresso Roast, creamy oat milk and spiced-apple drizzle to create a delicious apple crisp you can sip.”

–   Price: $5.95

–   Nutrition Facts: 320 calories, 29g sugar

–   Rating: 8.5/10

–   Rationale: Absolutely loved! Smelled like apple pie baking in the oven and tasted just as good. I’m usually not a warm coffee fan, but the apple flavor mixed with the creamy oat milk made it perfect! I’ve ordered this one multiple times and plan to order again!

3. Iced Pumpkin Cream Chai Tea Latte

–   Description: “A blend of black tea infused with warming spices and milk, topped with pumpkin cream cold foam.”

–   Price: $5.95

–   Nutrition Facts: 460 calories, 66g sugar

–   Rating: 4.5/10

–   Rationale: Very unimpressed. I only got this drink in a small sample cup, but even then it was WAY too sugary. The flavor was delicious, but only for a sip or two until the sugar became nauseating. If you like super sweet, I recommend perhaps a tall, but wouldn’t go much larger than that. Would never order beyond a sample, which is unfortunate because I generally love chai.

4. Iced Apple Crisp Oat Milk Shaken Espresso

–   Description: “Layers of Starbucks® Blonde Espresso, spiced apple flavors and creamy oat milk.”

–   Price: $6.25

–   Nutrition Facts: 180 calories, 21g sugar

–   Rating: 3/10

–   Rationale: Strong taste of the espresso didn’t mix well with the sugary taste of the apple-cinnamon flavoring. The apple resulted in a bitter flavor that wasn’t as appetizing as expected. As a fan of oat milk shaken espressos, this was quite surprising, but I would definitely choose the apple crisp macchiato instead.

5. Pumpkin Cream Cold Brew

–   Description: “Cold brew sweetened with vanilla-flavored syrup, finished with pumpkin cream cold foam and a dusting of pumpkin-spice topping”

–   Price: $5.25

–   Nutrition Facts: 250 calories, 31g sugar

–   Rating: 7/10

–   Rationale: I don’t like my coffee too bitter, so I rarely get cold brew. However, I was willing to try something new with the pumpkin cold foam and vanilla flavoring and it did NOT disappoint. It was much less sweet than the pumpkin spice latte but still maintained a festive flare that would absolutely get me to order this drink over and over again.

Final rating: If you’re going to Starbucks to buy a festive fall drink, I believe an apple crisp macchiato is the way to go! Although if you’re looking for a more “health-conscious” option, the pumpkin cream cold brew is a close second!

*Note all pricing is for grande sizes only and doesn’t include tax. All descriptions were taken directly from https://www.starbucks.com/menu/featured/. This list is not exhaustive and there are other seasonal drinks not included, as well as food options that are worth a try!

Joseph Battista, Editor

Bears. Bears eat salmon. Lots of salmon, but not always the whole fish. They most prefer the skin and other fatty parts, sometimes discarding the rest of the fish, per NPS.gov. Why? Bears eat fattier foods to consume calories that are nutrient dense for preservation.

Humans eat salmon. Lots of salmon, but not always the whole fish. Many eat salmon filets, but discard the skin. Why? People eat less fatty foods to avoid excess calories, purposefully or incidentally missing out on nutrient-dense foods.

There may be a few things to learn from bears. Most importantly, if you have errands to run after you make porridge and tidy your bed, you should lock your door… Still, there are more notes to take, specifically, eating animal fats and not being scared of doing so! 

Sure, bears hibernate. They sleep for half of the year and need that extra fat, and yes, I think we all may be a little jealous. However, a surplus of animal-based fats when opportunity strikes may be a good idea. Plus, who is going to turn down extra bacon?

Fats are macronutrients that contain nine calories of energy per gram; proteins and carbohydrates contain four calories per gram. They store energy in the body, absorb nutrients and create hormones, according to the British Heart Foundation. There are three relevant types of fat: monounsaturated, polyunsaturated and saturated. Animal fats come in polyunsaturated and saturated forms.

Polyunsaturated fats are commonly referred to as “good” fats due to their ability to maintain healthy cholesterol levels. Saturated fats have a less stellar reputation, commonly attributed to heart disease from overconsumption, according to MedlinePlus. Despite reputation, both fats come in many forms, housing dense variations of nutrients. Some nutrients found in animal fats are vitamins A, D3 and B12. These nutrients, like many others, play roles in maintaining the body’s health.

So, fats contain energy and play a role in bodily health. Yet, in excess they can be unhealthy. Why would anyone then consume excess fats? It is for the same reason those bears hibernate, except less extreme. Consuming animal fats in place of excess calories from other sources provides extra energy for later use and is a rich source of nutrients that the body can either use or store. 

Everyone misses a meal once in a while. It is understandable in this busy world. The decrease in energy that comes with it may not be as forgiving. Next time you are faced with eating animal fats, act as a bear would, and eat some extra. You will get nutrients for maintaining health, and maybe the next missed lunch may not be so brutal with that extra energy from last dinner.