Review: “Ghostbusters: Afterlife

Arts & Entertainment

Jakob Eiseman, Editor-in-Chief

“Ghostbusters: Afterlife” hit theaters on Nov. 19,  2021, receiving generally positive reviews from critics, but very mixed reactions from fans of the franchise. I completely understand where they’re coming from, but have to disagree. Yes, the movie gratuitously tugs at nostalgia every chance it gets, and yes, some moments are cheesier than a Goldfish cracker. But, I’d be remiss if I didn’t say that it totally worked and I loved a majority of the film. “Afterlife” is not a masterclass in cinema, storytelling, drama or even action — and it doesn’t capture that lighting in a bottle that was the original “Ghostbusters,” but it’s extremely  entertaining, is full of heart and is definitely going to succeed at being this younger generation’s introduction to the Ghostbusters in an exceptional way. In short, if you’re a fan of the original, this is a must see just for nostalgia and entertainment’s sake. If you’ve never been a fan, I think this might sway you. If you’re brand new to the franchise, I can’t think of a better introduction than this film.

“Who you gonna call?”

While I did say that “Afterlife” does not capture the same special touch that made the original a cultural phenomenon, and I stand by that, it does do its best, and is tailor-made to honor the humor, lore and vibe of the original. This is largely in part because the director of “Afterlife,” Jason Reitman (“Juno,”) is the son of Ivan Reitman, the director of the original 1984 film and its 1989 sequel “Ghostbusters II.” “Afterlife” is both Ivan Reitman taking a crack at making a major motion picture in his own vision but also a way to live up to and honor his father’s legacy. He definitely respects the conventions of the older films with the same visual style and gags budding into both, with every set absolutely bursting with references to the original, whether that be obvious sights like the 1959 Cadillac Ecto-1 in the garage, or subtle ones that allude to fan-favorite moments from the original. He also captures the same charm as the original by presenting silly, humorous characters in a world filled with genuinely scary and unsettling ghosts.

“Afterlife” is not a glorified remake, though. Although the story follows several similar beats, Reitman made a great story about a family, memorable character moments and an interesting take on the young-adult blockbuster type movie trope, and just retrofitted it to work in the canon established by his father. The main cast of the film bring hard-hitting comedy chops and genuine heart and soul to these characters that could have easily been made surface level to squeeze into the movie’s two-hour runtime. 

Columbia Pictures

“We came, we saw, we kicked its *ss!”

The film follows Phoebe, played by McKenna Grace (“I, Tonya,” “Handmaid’s Tale”), a twelve-year-old science prodigy with a knack for tinkering; Trevor, played by Finn Wolfhard (“Stranger Things,” “It (2017),”) a high-schooler who’s fed up with the world; and their mother Callie, who is at the end of her rope in terms of cash, luck and ability to keep up with her hyperactive kids. When the three of them are evicted from their city apartment, they’re forced to move out to a creepy “murder house” that was owned by Callie’s father before he died mysteriously. This is a spoiler-free review, but if you’ve seen the original movie and have seen any promotional material for “Afterlife,” it is pretty clear that the family has moved into the home of one of the original Ghostbusters, bringing with it all of the trappings of the team’s antics, including ghost-hunting cars and equipment, occult books and lots and lots of ghosts. Now all that’s well and good, and I was sold just on the premise, and I didn’t even mention that the sexiest man alive Paul Rudd (“Ant-Man,” “Clueless,”) is a side character and makes the movie 10 times funnier.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that a 2021 blockbuster movie with a budget of $75 million has giant action set pieces and special effects galore, but “Afterlife” is able to use them tastefully, putting a lot of the focus on the characters and their interactions rather than high-octane ghostbusting and its spectral CGI villains. In fact, for a movie with “ghost” in the title, there really aren’t that many spirits in “Afterlife,” and I respect that decision. I was personally very invested in Phoebe and Trevor’s plot of discovering who their grandfather was and learning to use the Ghostbusters gear more so than anything that was being told to the audience about the villain and the town’s dark secrets. With all that said, though, I was relatively disappointed with the way the plot ramped up toward the end and how the conflict was resolved in a cliche manner that was highly telegraphed. While this didn’t make me hate the rest of the movie, and I still can’t wait to watch it again just to see Paul Rudd ham it up on screen again, it was disappointing, to say the least.

Columbia Pictures

“Don’t cross the streams.”

For all the positives I have to rave about in “Afterlife,” there were many elements that fell completely flat and really inhibited my enjoyment throughout. The references to the original film were charming at first, and were often tastefully implemented, but throughout the movie there were also not-so-subtle callbacks that without context would make absolutely no sense, some of them even having their own musical cues. Simply hearing someone say “Who you gonna call?” for no reason is not a funny reference, it’s ham-fisted and distracting. These in-your-face jokes are peppered throughout, and I know what Reitman was going for, but I would have removed these completely in favor of more Paul Rudd, unironically.

As much as I love the main characters of this film, notice how I only named four in the main cast of well over 10 characters? It’s because with the exception of these genuinely great main characters, a majority of the cast was forgettable and insignificant, only being there for comic relief or to add “weight” to the main characters’ motivations. I’m just comparing this setup to the original film, which had side characters that the audience cared about and that you wanted to see more of every time they were on screen.

“See you on the other side.”

Despite all my qualms with “Afterlife,” I still stand by that, as a fan of “Ghostbusters,” it is a must-see and a great time. I went in with low expectations and I was pleasantly surprised. Even though the film ended exactly how I thought it would, I still loved the story of Phoebe and Trevor and hope to see more of them in the future. I’m giving “Ghostbusters: Afterlife” a 7/10 because for as much as Reitman slipped up, he did create an excellent homage to one of my favorite movies, and told a great, original story within that. While I don’t think “Afterlife” is necessary theater viewing, I would recommend seeing it when you get a chance, especially if it comes to VOD or streaming over the holiday season.

Review in Progress: “Forza Horizon 5”

Arts & Entertainment

Microsoft pulls a holeshot win on the competition with their open world racer

Jakob Eiseman, Editor-in-Chief

Header Image: Xbox

“Forza Horizon 5” — released on Nov. 9 on Xbox consoles, PC and the cloud — is special to me because it is the first game to release in a long, long time that exceeded my high expectations. I adored “Forza Horizon 4” and spent most of my free time in the winters of my freshman and sophomore year riding through sunny “Horizon 4’s” U.K. pastures in a 2016 Audi R8, so when they announced that there was going to be a next-generation “Horizon” game coming in 2021, I was extremely excited to jump in and see if it could live up to “Horizon 4.” Well, I’m here to say: they’ve done it. Not only does “Horizon 5” live up to its legacy, it surpasses “Horizon 4” in so many ways and I can’t wait to keep playing what is definitely my favorite racing game of all time.

The “Horizon” formula

“Forza Motorsport” is a series of simulation racing games that began in 2005 on the original Xbox and has long been praised for its accurate simulation of vehicle physics and the ability to fine tune cars using real world enhancements and parts, as well as its top-of-the-line graphics and visuals that come with every release. While “Motorsport” focuses solely on racing and the customization of vehicles, “Forza Horizon” is a spin-off series that takes a much more light-hearted approach to the franchise by placing players in large open worlds as part of the Horizon Festival, encouraging players to explore real-life areas like Australia, the U.K. and now Mexico, doing tricks, challenging each other to races, discovering secrets and racing on custom tracks.

“Horizon 5” perfects this formula, adding hundreds of racing events scattered all across varied biomes of a partially fictionalized Mexico. “Horizon 5” features all types of events from dirt races in the jungles, to cross-country races on the white-sand beaches, to drag races in the cities, jumps and stunts in the canyons and many, many more. The exploration and events are incentivised as you are always earning something, whether that be money to buy and upgrade the hundreds of awesome vehicles, clothes for your custom character or unlocking newer, higher-stakes events. It’s extremely satisfying to just sit down after a long day of work and fly up the highway in a decked-out Ferrari, just seeing what events you’ll pass along the way.

Xbox

In “Horizon 4” they changed up their seasonal content systems, and tied it in with literal seasons, changing the roads based on the season (snow, leaves, etc.) and I was not a fan. Now, the seasons system is back, and I am still definitely not a fan. Summer brings rain, fall brings major storms and winter brings sandstorms, all of which make it harder to traverse the world and speed through Mexico freely. I just don’t understand why this is not optional and wish I never had to deal with driving through the rain because it’s already stressful enough in real life, but it’s not the end of the world.

What’s new?

In short…. not much, really. But that’s actually really great because instead of adding bloat to the “Forza” formula, many small tweaks and changes were made to improve it. First off, the new landscape of Mexico is not only significantly larger than the previous U.K. map, but much more diverse, featuring multiple biomes, mesoamerican ruins, densely populated cities, beautiful landscapes, coastal towns with realistic beaches and natural race tracks and stunts baked right in to look authentic to the country’s architecture. Beyond that, the next-generation hardware I was playing on presented nearly photo realistic textures, with still images of this Mexico being nearly indistinguishable from a real photo. The graphics in “Forza” have always been great, but the photogrammetry and scanning Playground Games used to create this game is mind-blowing and definitely the best I have ever seen.

The other major improvement to this entry is the campaign structure. In the past, the so-called story mode in “Forza” has been largely surface-level and designed to make you feel like you are an up-and-comer to the Forza Horizon festival who is taking over the racing scene. This time though, although the story is still relatively basic, and I wish there were memorable characters or interactions, instead they make you feel like a badass racer, and the events just ramp that feeling up. Here are some major highlights from my “Horizon 5” campaign experience:

  • Dropping out of a plane in a Bronco and racing down an active volcano
  • Blasting a Stingray through a sandstorm on a desert highway
  • Going off-roading through a jungle river in a modded Porsche
  • Hypercar racing through the brick roads of Baja California and hitting 300 mph
  • Drag racing an airplane in said hypercar
  • Photo finishing AN AIRPLANE (I won by the way.)

The thing is, that was all in the first 15 minutes of the campaign, it is an immaculate introduction to “Forza 5” and the events keep upping the ante as you progress. This time around, the events are broken up between road racing, cross-country racing, offroading, exploration, stunts, street racing and festival celebrations. By separating the events into categories, it let me tailor my campaign experience to the events I enjoy most which were by far exploring and stunts. Some of my favorite events so far have been canyon jumping in a parade float, racing a stunt team on motor bikes, street racing through Guanajuato and exploring the ruins of Tulum, all of which changed my perspective on what a racing game can really bring to the table.

The good and the bad

Like I mentioned, “Forza 5” is the most visually stunning game I’ve ever played, and the combination of racing, exploration, vehicle customization and overall vibe of the experience make it one of my favorites from this year, and my favorite racing game to date. The vast collection of interesting cars from around the world never ceases to amaze me, and I am definitely motivated to keep playing — even though I’ve finished the campaign — to unlock new cars and continue to experience all the racing and exploration that “Horizon 5” has to offer. This is definitely on my shortlist for game of the year, and I was able to play it on launch day with Xbox Game Pass. I could write pages about why Game Pass is amazing, but the fact that I got to play this amazing title at no additional cost shows how valuable the service is.

Xbox

As much as I love “Horizon 5” it is not without its issues. While I’ve had no visual or gameplay glitches, sometimes the driving mechanics are a bit finicky. The controls can be tailored to be a full simulation of real driving or an almost fully arcade style akin to a “MarioKart.” It took me nearly seven hours to really find a style that worked for me, and even as I’m writing this I still feel somewhat unsatisfied with the way certain driving styles feel. While I love the smooth feeling of road racing and offroading, street races and some faster drives feel a bit hard to calculate without making it too easy with assists. Additionally, I find the AI drivers you race against to be poorly balanced. When they are set to easier difficulties, I always come in first, but as soon as I raise it up even one notch, I feel like I’m being left in the dust. Besides those minor complaints, though “Horizon 5” is nearly perfect.

The finish line

I love “Forza Horizon 5” and will probably continue to play it for years, just popping in to clear up some races and gun it down the highways of Mexico. While it isn’t perfect, it’s a masterclass in so many fields, and for that I’m rating it 9/10. I couldn’t recommend “Forza” any more than I already have and think it is worth your time. I played on Xbox Series X and did not have the means to test it on other Xbox consoles, PC or the cloud, but like I mentioned, it is on Game Pass which is highly accessible on so many systems and I urge everyone who’s able to go try it out and join me on the racetrack.

Back 2 La Salle: Another successful explorers’ Homecoming — Editorial

Editorial

Jakob Eiseman, Editor-in-Chief

Header Image: La Salle University

“No matter how far Explorers travel they can always find their way back home.” “Explorers are never lost.” “Not all who wander are lost.” However you want to say it, it’s kind of our thing as La Salle Explorers, and never is there a time when that is more true than the annual Homecoming weekend. Every year, hundreds gather on La Salle’s campus to remember long-lasting memories from their time with the university and to celebrate the school’s culture. With the addition of Family Weekend to the mix, Homecoming weekend has become an overall great experience for our extended community. 

Starting on Friday evening we had the Alumni Awards Dinner where the Catholic Social Services of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia received the Signum Fidei Medal. The award which means “Sign of Faith” in English is awarded annually to the group which has made the most noteworthy contributions to humanitarian involvement. Diego Calderin ‘83 also received the John J. Finley Award which is given out annually to a La Salle alum who provided a great service to the university that year. In addition to these awards, 30 students were inducted into the Alpha Epsilon Alumni Honors Society. These awards served as an excuse for many alumni to gather and catch up, as well as to celebrate La Salle culture. Many alumni, even those from as recent as the class of 2020 made appearances in the Union ballroom and made the event one to remember.

La Salle University

Then, the Masque of La Salle made their return to theater production on Friday night with their production of “Mavericks.” The Masque’s dedication to theater even in spite of losing several of their shows to the pandemic era is inspiring, and the quality of stories written and created independently through the artistic mind of the students is inspiring. For a full writeup of the stories included in the Mavericks, please consider reading our preview from last week’s issue. 

Friday was already buzzing, but Saturday is when things really picked up with a double Explorer’s victory in the Tom Gola Arena. The women’s basketball team made a dramatic first impression at home, taking the game to overtime and coming out on top over the Rider Broncs. The team opened up the Family Weekend celebrations and the excitement never really stopped. The festival on the quad upped its game from previous years and provided a great place for families to meet up with La Salle students and celebrate. Then, the men’s basketball team had a great redemption from last Tuesday’s overtime loss, beating out UAlbany in a packed house filled with endearing Explorers fans. The energy in the crowd was electric, and streamers notwithstanding, it was a great reminder of what it’s like to be a Lasallian sports fan.

La Salle Alumni Association

The La Salle community has always been tight knit, and Homecoming is a great reason to reunite with alumni, old friends, family and everyone that we find important to us in this community. While this was the last Homecoming for many of us as students, the event has always been a major annual happening on campus, and we will be able to participate for years to come as alumni. Thank you to everyone who made Homecoming weekend special yet again.

Improv 101: La Salle’s funniest hidden gem

Features

Jakob Eiseman, Editor-in-Chief

Nov. 13 was packed with Homecoming events here on La Salle’s campus. Between the men’s and women’s basketball games, matinee of the Masque’s production of “Mavericks” or the festival on the quad, there was something for everyone. To close out the night, La Salle’s improv team Improv 101 put on a special show for all the family and alumni that stuck around through the day’s excitement. This wasn’t just a normal Improv 101 show, because the team brought some alumni of their own. Seven La Salle alumni who were once part of Improv 101 reprised their place on the stage of the Dan Rodden theater for a show to remember. Alex Crosby ‘17, Emily Ermer ‘18, Brian Gelbach ‘18, Mark Bisicchia ‘18, Mike Poggioli ‘19, Tom Harris ‘20 and Jack Rohr ‘20 fell right back into their Improv 101 roots and worked with the current cast to put on a wonderful show.

Improv 101 is an umbrella group of the Masque of La Salle that features a rotating cast of some of the most talented improv comedians at La Salle. They put on shows regularly during the semester and also offer improv workshops to the La Salle community where people can come join in on the fun. “Improv 101 is a lot of fun and helps my creative juices flow. It’s so much fun working with all of the improvers,” said Sanera Powell, a senior digital arts major and member of Improv 101. Powell is a relatively recent addition to Improv 101, but fit right in with the alumni cast and was able to get major laughs from the crowd.

Courtesy of Martin Redanauer

A longtime member of Improv 101, senior computer science student Sam Da Silva said that “the alumni haven’t lost their style at all, they were still incredibly funny and I hope our current cast was able to live up to their shenanigans.” Da Silva, who joined the team during his freshman year said that “being able to go up there on stage and just have some fun with friends is always a great time and I’m so glad I was able to find the team when I did.” 

Although the cast, current and past, were able to fill the stage entirely, Improv 101 currently only has seven cast members, five of whom are seniors who will graduate this year. “You know most of the games we play during shows call for three to four people, and some of the bigger ones need up to six,” said Martin Redanauer, a senior psychology student at La Salle. Redanauer, who also joined the team when he was a freshman, is always trying to get new faces to show up to the improv workshops and have a good time. “Improv can be whatever you want, it really can. It’s just you sharing your sense of humor with everyone and letting loose on stage,” said Redanauer.

Courtesy of Sam Da Silva

“We’re honestly just a group of friends goofing off on stage,” said Kayla Stevens, a senior cast member, “We really enjoy being able to get up there and make people laugh and forget their problems for even just an hour.” Stevens, who improv acted as everything from a talking fish to a three-headed doctor during Saturday’s show, has a deep appreciation for the improv team, starting as a fan of the shows and eventually joining the team as a cast member.

Taking the improv stage for the first time at the alumni show was sophomore communication student Aidan Tyksinski who fit right in with the whole team despite never having met most of the alumni and tackling this talent-packed show as his first with the team. Tyksinski and junior Eila Nash, president of the Masque of La Salle, are recent additions to the team who will continue to carry on Improv 101 when all of the seniors graduate in the spring.

“At first, I liked doing improv because it was an opportunity for me to get on stage and make people laugh. But, as time went on, I got closer with the team and it became more about having fun with friends and now I can’t wait to get up there and joke around every show,” said Jon Colella, a senior communication student. “People should definitely consider joining the team because it’s provided me with countless memories and laughs that I will hold forever, more than any other club I’m a part of and I’m sure it would be the same for anyone who joins us up there,” said Colella.

“You don’t have to worry about anything, you just have fun with it and see what happens. You really never know where a scene is going to go. I just enjoy the ride and it always makes me happy,” said Da Silva when asked why those interested in improv should consider joining Improv 101 and attending workshops.

“The fact that we only have two members lined up for next year is a bit concerning,” said Redanauer when asked the same question, “but I’m sure we will be able to fill out the team because improv really is just something you can’t stop once you try it once.” Anyone interested in attending an Improv 101 workshop or learning more about the organization’s shows is encouraged to reach out to Redanauer at redanauerm1@lasalle.edu. You can also keep up with Improv 101 through the Masque’s social media pages: @themasqueoflasalle on Instagram and on Presence.

I have an unhealthy relationship with Black Friday

Commentary

Jakob Eiseman, Editor-in-Chief

Header Image: CNBC

I’ve never loved and hated something so equally in my life as Black Friday. I am so internally conflicted about my feelings that existential dread already set in during the first week of November. Black Friday is magical, it is unethical; it’s a great value, but horrible for the environment; it’s a way to plan financially, but also extremely predatory. 

I should start off by saying that I have gone out Black Friday shopping in some capacity every year since I was 13 years old, with the exception of 2020, as I was not risking my life for a $10 copy of “Speed” on Blu-Ray… although maybe it would have been worth it…  I digress. I was raised as a deal hunter — I clip coupons, I follow Amazon wishlists, I have Twitter notifications turned on and get dozens of messages a day letting me know when anything from a Bowflex, to a Nintendo Switch OLED, to a subscribe-and-save pack of Double Stuf Oreos goes on sale. Naturally, this means Black Friday was always a big deal for me.

Around three or four years ago, though, I realized that I was spending money for the sake of spending money, rather than for the sake of getting products I actually needed or wanted. Sure, I’ve used that mood lamp shaped like a gemstone a few times, but did I really need to buy it just because it was at a Black Friday sale? I started to get buyers remorse even on good purchases like a mechanical keyboard for $100 off or Senheiser headphones that I use every day that I got for 50 percent off. For the last two years, I saw REI’s #OptOutside campaign trending on Twitter, and actually felt pretty inspired to spend some time outside with friends and family, but that didn’t stop me from checking my phone to see what I wanted to buy online.

Beyond my personal conflict with spending too much money, though, I also started to realize how draining Black Friday is for retail workers after working two myself in a retail position. Stores stay open to please mobs of deal hunters like myself, and workers miss out on time with their family around the Thanksgiving holiday. I always found consonance knowing that it was a choice they made, but in some cases it really isn’t a matter of choice. Beyond this, companies have begun opening their doors Thursday night, even pushing into Thursday morning in some cases, which plants that seed in people’s head that they are missing out on savings by spending time with their family. It feels wrong.

Now, the whole structure has fallen under its own weight, with some companies starting their deals as early as this week, and some lasting until after the holiday season itself. What’s worse is that as Black Friday participation has gone down, organizations are encouraged to compete using increasingly shady and predatory methods in order to hold on to what was once the biggest retail shopping day of the year. Most doorbuster deals are the same ones offered year round, especially on big ticket items like TVs, game consoles and appliances. They are literally the same deals that are offered every few months, but they are presented as once-a-year opportunities that can’t be passed up. Even more egregious than that, many products are driven up in price prior to Black Friday and then are put on discount to equal the actual MSRP, but are presented as a good deal. 
I don’t know. I’m sure I will still fall into some purchases this year, but I am going to try to stay out of the stores. I want to avoid COVID firstly, but it’s also a small way that I can protest the unethical practices big stores have been taking. I wasn’t writing this piece to corral the Collegian community into hating stores and boycotting Black Friday, but hopefully to find some others who are in a similar situation as me. Feel free to reply in the comments or reach out to me at my email with your thoughts on Black Friday and what we might be able to do as a society to move past it or improve it.

GE is busting the conglomerate by its own accord

Business

Jakob Eiseman, Editor-in-Chief

Header Image: Financial Times

The General Electric Company (GE) is one of the largest, most diversified conglomerates in American history. The Boston-based organization creates a vast network of electronic products and pumps mass amounts of cash directly into the American technological research pool year after year.

It was announced Tuesday that GE has a plan to spin off parts of its mass network into three separate, public companies by 2024. In a press release, the company detailed its plan to peel off all parts of GE that do not relate to aviation or flight, and combine them appropriately to create three global organizations: GE Healthcare, GE Power, Renewable Energy and Digital, and GE. The press release notes that GE Healthcare will be the first of these companies to go public through a tax-free process that would allow all healthcare related divisions of GE to split off and become independent by 2023. 

The next step of the process will be to combine GE Renewable Energy, GE Power and GE Digital into one business with a focus on leading America’s transition to renewable energy. Once combined, these divisions will share resources and be placed under a single banner within GE. Again, using the same tax-free process as GE Healthcare, this new umbrella will spin-off into a public, global company by 2024. 

GE prime is expected to maintain around 20 percent of GE Healthcare, and the same can be assumed about GE’s energy branch, although future proceedings of the umbrella group will determine the exact amount. According to GE, the reason for this major schism is that once all three companies are independent they “will be better positioned to deliver long-term growth and create value for customers, investors, and employees.”

Current GE CEO H. Lawrence Culp Jr. said in a statement “The world demands—and deserves—we bring our best to solve the biggest challenges in flight, healthcare, and energy. By creating three industry-leading, global public companies, each can benefit from greater focus, tailored capital allocation, and strategic flexibility to drive long-term growth and value for customers, investors, and employees.” 

Culp Jr. will continue to serve as CEO to GE and will take on the role of chairman to GE Healthcare when it is created. Once the GE energy company is spun off, Culp Jr. says he will focus solely on GE’s aviation efforts, but it is ambiguous whether he or colleague John Slattery will be named CEO of GE Aviation. Following the full transition, Peter Arduini will become the CEO of GE Healthcare and Scott Strazik will sit as CEO of the GE energy company.

The conglomerate noted that some of the factors that contributed to this decision and their support of it is a $75 billion reduction in debt since 2018 and risk reduction provided by their $9.4 billion in capital raised through investment portfolio changes, improvements to claims management and insurance premium increases since 2018.

What is notable about this transition is that GE, a company with an annual operating income upwards of $2.5 billion, according to the Wall Street Journal, is expected to incur a $2 billion dollar cost of transition, which includes all physical transitions such as offices, housing, and brand development, as well as contractual and legal transitions. It is also expected to pay out about half of a billion dollars to the federal and Massachusetts state government in taxes. As this plan is set to cross the finish line by 2024, that means that all three GE branches will effectively wipe out one year of the operational budget to make this transition a reality.

Shares of GE rose by more than 6 percent in early trading on Tuesday, maxing out around $115.01 as a result of these announcements, but at the time of writing this, one share in GE is currently valued at $111.29, around $5 higher than it was at this time one week prior.

My life as a college age android user

Commentary

Jake Eiseman, Editor-in-Chief

Header Image: nrkbeta.no via Flickr

Apple Inc. ruined my life.

Okay it’s definitely not that bad, but I am reminded far too often how it’s a dog eat dog world and I’m wearing milkbone underwear when I expose myself as an Android user. Everywhere I look on La Salle’s campus I see people on their iPhone, with their AirPods in and using Apple music, and what do I do? Nothing. I do nothing because I am respectful and understand that it’s just a phone, it really does not matter. But, the moment someone asks to AirDrop something to me, or God forbid I turn an iMessage group chat green, I am targeted and chastised like I’m the problem.

The OverAnalyzed

Wake up, people. It’s not me that you should be targeting, I just sit here with my Galaxy S9+, talking to Bixby, customizing my home screens with all the freedom in the world, while Apple users didn’t even get the freedom to add widgets until iOS 14. Apple is an extremely predatory company. They lock you in early by acquiring good deals with the popular wireless plans they know will have teenagers and their parents on them like Verizon or AT&T, and once you’re in, good luck getting out.

Take into consideration that your Apple ID literally contains your entire life. All of the photos you’ve ever taken, all of your contacts, wireless payments, passwords, facial scans, personal data, analytics and so much more. What happens if you try to take all of that out of the Apple ecosystem? Well, for some things like pictures and contacts it is doable, but Apple makes the process as difficult as possible by forcing users to either hard transfer everything from the phone to a computer or to another phone slowly, or by downloading a replacement app like Google Photos and backing everything up manually. Lots of other things, though, are almost entirely locked behind Apple’s ecosystem. For example, all of the apps and in-app purchases made since you got “Angry Birds” when you were twelve until now will not transfer over. Some of them you can replace, but a lot of your digital footprint will be completely uprooted.

I won’t get into the actual politics and ethics of Apple’s production, as I am certain that companies like Samsung and Google are just as bad in other or even worse ways. But come on. Can we talk about how everyone found out last year that Apple uses planned obsolescence in the creation of their batteries and Apple users just said “cool,” and then bought an iPhone 12 Pro? I’m not shilling for the Google Pixel because it’s better than the iPhone, I’m shilling because people deserve to be treated better by the company that basically rules their whole life at this point.

You deserve better than to pay hundreds of dollars every year for a slightly better camera to a company that keeps you in a loop of constant disappointment, predatory technology practices and that is looking more and more every day to be like the villain from a shockingly familiar episode of “Black Mirror.” I just ask that before you go and buy into the iPhone 14,000,000 when it drops next month, just take some time to think about why you love Apple so much and if you really do, or if you just feel like you have to.

An ocean of my own

Creative Writing

Jakob Eiseman, Editor-in-Chief

Header Image: A24 — “The Lighthouse”

Drowning.
Dragged deep
Into an ocean of my own making.
Every single minute of the surface seen,
Is a mile dragged underneath. I see the horizon.
Exhaustion sets in early on as the sun fades.
But no amount of rest helps. I fall deep.
The waters will never take me,
They move and shake me,
They taunt me,
They even seem friendly,
But they will never release me. Indecisive.
If one state of my condition were to give in to the fall,
The rest might succeed. But if only a part of me succeeds whose goals are met?
The line has been spread too thin, one dimension is being torn apart.
What will become of me when I retire from the sunlight?
Will I feel lost, found, or will I feel nothing?
Falling and drowning deeper still.
The waves never stop.
They just change.

Rolling.

Ban on abortion in Texas is back in effect — for now

Politics

Jakob Eiseman, Editor-in-Chief

Forbes

On Friday, Oct. 8, the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals ordered that Texas Senate Bill Eight (SB 8) be placed in effect while further litigation on its legality be conducted. SB 8 is the controversial bill posed by the Texas State Senate which would impose an effective ban on abortion after the sixth week of pregnancy by allowing individuals to take legal action against abortion clinics and physicians.

The bill, also referred to as The Heartbeat Act, claims to prevent the disposal of human life after a heartbeat can be detected within a fetus. As many women may not even be aware of their pregnancy until after the sixth week, the bill has come under heavy political, social and legal scrutiny since its proposition in September.

When the Supreme Court voted not to block the bill’s implementation on Sept. 8, the U.S. Justice Department filed a lawsuit swiftly, charging the bill as impeding the rights of Texans. Attorney General Merrick Garland referred to the bill in a press release as “clearly unconstitutional under long standing Supreme Court precedent.”

A month later on Wednesday, Oct. 6, U.S. District Judge Robert Pitman nullified SB 8 temporarily, meaning it could not be enforced and suits could not be filed against abortion clinics as the DOJ’s suit moved through the court system. This current rulling by the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals means that the bill is now in effect again, and in addition, means that any abortion clinics or doctors which helped terminate pregnancies involving a fetus with a heartbeat from Oct. 6 to Oct. 8 can be taken to court for up to $10,000 in damages. Several women’s rights groups and pro-choice non-profits have begun mobilizing resources and lawyers to aid in possible lawsuits filed against these clinics for abortions performed in that 48-hour window.

The Fifth Circuit Court is statistically one of the most conservative courts in the U.S., and has blocked similar rulings in the past which would nullify SB 8 and other similar bills. The Biden administration has already announced their plans to appeal and continue challenging rulings on SB 8 meaning the last stop for this case will likely be back in the hands of the U.S. Supreme Court.

Only one doctor thus far has been sued as a result of SB 8, but protests such as the Women’s March and similar assemblies around Texas government buildings and in Texas cities have kept the bill relevant in public discourse. Texas state Senator Byran Hughes, the author of SB 8, said in a statement that the bill was designed with one main tenet in mind: “if there is a heartbeat detected, that little baby will be protected.”

Hughes also said “The law does not ban abortions after six weeks. It requires that a physician performing an abortion first check for a fetal heartbeat. If there is a heartbeat, the physician may not abort the child.”

Hughes’s statement is somewhat disconnected from his own bill, however, as the legal phrasing of the bill was purposely designed not to outwardly block abortions at the state level, but to allow private citizens to enforce the law through lawsuits. This caveat is what was announced as the reasoning for the initial Supreme Court ruling. In the Supreme Court’s September filing, Chief Justice Roberts wrote that “The legislature has imposed a prohibition on abortions after roughly six weeks, and then essentially delegated enforcement of that prohibition to the populace at large. The desired consequence appears to be to insulate the state from responsibility for implementing and enforcing the regulatory regime.”

 The Biden administration pointed out that the use of private citizens as “state actors” could be used in other similar bills to undermine some of the most important precedent cases from the history of the Supreme Court, but there have not been any filings to the court of this type since.

Recap: 73rd Emmys’ biggest winners

Arts & Entertainment

Jakob Eiseman, Editor-in-Chief

Outstanding Comedy Series
Winner: “Ted Lasso” — Apple TV+

Apple TV+

Nominees:
– “Black-ish” — ABC
– “Cobra Kai” — Netflix
– “Emily in Paris” — Netflix
– “The Flight Attendant” — HBO Max
– “Hacks” — HBO Max
– “The Kominsky Method” — Netflix
– “Pen15” — Hulu
– “Ted Lasso” — Apple TV+

Outstanding Drama Series
“The Crown” — Netflix

Netflix

Nominees:
– “The Boys” — Amazon Prime Video
– “Bridgerton” — Netflix
– “The Crown” — Netflix
– “The Handmaid’s Tale” — Hulu
– “Lovecraft Country” — HBO
– “The Mandalorian” — Disney+
– “Pose” — FX
– “This Is Us” — NBC

Outstanding Limited or Anthology Series
“The Queen’s Gambit” — Netflix

Netflix

Nominees:
– “I May Destroy You” — HBO
– “Mare of Easttown” — HBO
– “The Queen’s Gambit” — Netflix
– “The Underground Railroad” — Amazon Prime Video
– “WandaVision” — Disney+

Outstanding Variety Special (Pre-Recorded)
“Hamilton” — Disney+

Walt Disney Studios

Nominees:
– “8:46 – Dave Chappelle” — Netflix
– “Bo Burnham: Inside” — Netflix
– “David Byrne’s American Utopia” — HBO
– “Friends: The Reunion” — HBO Max
– “Hamilton” — Disney+
– “A West Wing Special to Benefit When We All Vote” — HBO Max

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
Jason Sudeikis — “Ted Lasso” | Ted Lasso | Apple TV+

Apple Tv+

Nominees:
– Anthony Anderson — “Black-ish” | Dre Johnson | ABC
– Michael Douglas — “The Kominsky Method” | Sandy Kominsky | Netflix
– William H. Macy — “Shameless” | Frank Gallagher | SHOWTIME
– Jason Sudeikis — “Ted Lasso” | Ted Lasso | Apple TV+
– Kenan Thompson — “Kenan” | Kenan Williams | NBC

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
Jean Smart — “Hacks” | Deborah Vance | HBO Max

HBO Max

Nominees:
– Aidy Bryant — “Shrill” | Annie Easton | Hulu
– Kaley Cuoco — “The Flight Attendant” | Cassie Bowden | HBO Max
– Allison Janney — “Mom” | Bonnie Plunkett | CBS
– Tracee Ellis Ross — “Black-ish” | Rainbow Johnson | NBC
– Jean Smart — “Hacks” | Deborah Vance | HBO Max

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Josh O’Connor — “The Crown” | Prince Charles | Netflix

Netflix

Nominees:
– Sterling K. Brown — “This Is Us” | Randall Pearson | NBC
– Jonathan Majors — “Lovecraft Country” | Atticus Freeman | HBO
– Josh O’Connor — “The Crown” | Prince Charles | Netflix
– Regé-Jean Page — “Bridgerton” | Simon Basset | Netflix
– Billy Porter — “Pose” | Pray Tell | Netflix
– Matthew Rhys — “Perry Mason” | Perry Mason | HBO

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series
Olivia Colman — “The Crown” | Queen Elizabeth II | Netflix

Netflix

Nominees:
– Uzo Aduba — “In Treatment” | Dr. Brooke Taylor | HBO
– Olivia Colman — “The Crown” | Queen Elizabeth II | Netflix
– Emma Corrin — “The Crown” | Princess Diana | Netflix
– Elisabeth Moss — “The Handmaid’s Tale” | June/Offred | Hulu
– Mj Rodriguez — “Pose” | Blanca Rodriguez | Netflix
– Jurnee Smollett — “Lovecraft Country” | Leti Lewis | HBO

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie
Kate Winslet — “Mare of Easttown” | Mare Sheehan | HBO

HBO

Nominees:
– Michaela Coel — “I May Destroy You” | Arabella | HBO
– Cynthia Erivo — “Genius: Aretha” | Aretha Franklin | National Geographic
– Elizabeth Olsen — “WandaVision” | Wanda Maximoff | Disney+
– Anya Taylor-Joy — “The Queen’s Gambit” | Beth Harmon | Netflix
– Kate Winslet — “Mare of Easttown” | Mare Sheehan | HBO

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie
Ewan McGregor — “Halston” | Halston | Netflix

Netflix

Nominees:
– Paul Bettany — “WandaVision” | The Vision | Disney+
– Hugh Grant — “The Undoing” | Jonathan Fraser | HBO
– Ewan McGregor — “Halston” | Halston | Netflix
– Lin-Manuel Miranda — “Hamilton” | Alexander Hamilton | Disney+
– Leslie Odom Jr. — “Hamilton” | Aaron Burr | Disney+

Outstanding Animated Program
“Genndy Tartakovsky’s Primal” — Adult Swim

Adult Swim

Nominees:
– “Big Mouth” — Netflix
– “Bob’s Burgers” — FOX
– “Genndy Tartakovsky’s Primal” — Adult Swim
– “South Park: The Pandemic Special” — Comedy Central
– “The Simpsons” — FOX

For a full list of winners and nominees, please check out the Emmys official database.

eisemanj1@lasalle.edu