Chude Uzoka-Anofienem, Staff Writer

5. Nicki Minaj- “Big Foot”

Everyone knows about the Kendrick Lamar vs. Drake feud (more on that later). But before that, there was a minor spat between Nicki Minaj and Megan Thee Stallion that most people have probably forgotten. Nicki’s contribution to the drama? This abysmal track.

The song’s title references Megan’s height and the fact that she was shot at by her ex-boyfriend, rapper Tory Lanez, requiring foot surgery. Lanez ultimately went to prison for 10 years on various gun charges. Nicki, for some reason, chooses to side with a man who nearly killed his girlfriend, which is certainly a… choice.

4. Sexyy Redd feat. Drake – “U My Everything”

Sexyy Redd is just not for me—her lack of technical skill doesn’t really make up for how blatantly reckless she is. GloRilla is a stronger, more ambitious songwriter; Megan Thee Stallion has way more presence; Doechii is funnier, and CupcakKe is all of the above. And thankfully, we’re long past the days of relying solely on Nicki Minaj to carry the torch for women in rap. 

This track dropped after “Not Like Us,” and it was clearly designed to give Drake another summer hit—but it completely flopped. That should’ve been obvious from the jump. Tay Keith’s metallic, skeletal beat already felt hollow, and Sexyy Red trying to sing on-key (which is not her strong suit) only made it worse. And on top of that, you don’t even get her usual over-the-top raunchiness or any believable energy. At this point, is she permanently offbeat just because of contractual obligation? Then Drake slides in… and no, you’re not bullying anything—you got bullied. Maybe that’s why you thought lines like “I’ll turn librarian for you, I’m booking that s***” were clever, or why you felt the need to rap about a girl slipping, tripping, and falling onto you. And let’s not even get started on those cringeworthy university bars. 

But the most telling part? He tries to reclaim “BBL Drizzy” by bragging about how many female plastic surgeries he’s paid for—all while conveniently ignoring his own. The moment he tried to flip the joke in his favor, the vibe completely died. 

There were plenty of moments that made it clear Drake lost this beef. The back-to-back features on Camila Cabello’s album were one, “Wah Gwan Delilah” was another, but this? This was straight-up pathetic. They say the worst thing you can tell a guy is that he’s not as funny as he thinks he is—this was that moment. The culture has moved on and it might be time for him to go back, mend some bridges and start from the bottom again. 

3. (¥$) Kanye West and Ty Dolla $ign feat. Rich the Kid and Playboi Carti – “CARNIVAL” 

It’s a shame that such a great instrumental is wasted on such worthless lyrics. Lazy sexual innuendos are nothing new for me to complain about. The wordplay here is straight-up nonexistent. You don’t ride a carnival—you ride rides at a carnival. Basic logic clearly wasn’t a priority. 

After comparing himself to Jesus (lots of Christian values in this song by the way), Ye says that his kids are in a “fake school,” seemingly unaware of the fact that he opened an actual fake school. The Donda Academy, an unaccredited Christian private school, in which two teachers claimed they forced children to eat off the floor, had no janitorial staff and didn’t have classes on the second floor because Ye had a phobia of stairs. The man is an absolute lunatic. The song should be called ‘circus’ because you don’t tend to see a lot of clowns at a carnival.

2. Drake – “THE HEART PART 6”

I’ll give Drake some credit—if someone accuses you of being a predator in one of the biggest songs of the year, you have to respond. The issue? His response couldn’t have made him sound more suspicious.

“Only f**kin’ with Whitneys, not Millie Bobby Browns, I’d never look twice at no teenager.”

Why even mention her—the one person caught on video proof seemingly slipping up about your weirdly close relationship? Every time Drake tries to defend himself, it just gets weaker.

“This Epstein angle was the s** I expected / TikTok videos you collected and dissected” *
“If I was f**ing young girls, I promise I’d have been arrested”*
“I’m way too famous for this sh* you just suggested”*

Saying you’re too famous to be part of a child trafficking ring, right after name-dropping Jeffrey Epstein—the man who catered to rich and powerful predators—has got to be one of the most poorly thought-out defenses imaginable. And the disjointed nature of these bars makes me wonder if he had multiple ghostwriters scrambling to craft a rebuttal, only for them to just shove all their ideas in at once with no cohesion.

Oh, and the irony? Drake brings up streaming data in this very song… the same Drake who sued UMG over alleged sales inflation for Kendrick. Funny how much he suddenly cares when the numbers don’t favor him

1. Ice Spice – “Think U The S*** (Fart)”

Oh, where do I even begin? 

First off, the title alone is a masterpiece of lyrical depth. Who wouldn’t want to proudly proclaim that they’re the “fart” in the equation? Truly groundbreaking. And, of course, the chorus: “Think you the sh**, b****? You not even the fart.”

It’s almost as if Ice Spice is telling us she’s too good for basic insults. Instead, she’s like, “I’m not calling you garbage; I’m calling you… flatulence.” Real subtle. The wordplay? Genius. Really, who needs complex metaphors or clever punchlines when you can reduce everything to bodily functions? It’s like she’s trying to turn rap into the most juvenile version of itself, but hey, at least it’s catchy, right? 

Although, calling this number one material is honestly baffling. A fart joke? And let’s talk about the production: a minimalist beat with the vocal delivery that can only be described as “so nonchalant it’s practically asleep.” It’s as if Ice Spice didn’t even bother trying to make an effort but still ended up topping charts. Now that’s a flex… but not in the way you’d expect. 

So, yeah, it’s awful. But I guess, when you can convince the masses that fart jokes and lazily thrown-together rhymes are the height of musical art, you’ve truly achieved something… or maybe we’ve all just collectively lost our minds.