Nolen Kelly, Editor

I have not talked too much about television here in the A&E section and I will do better, I’m sorry. There has been a ton of fantastic TV from the past year, and a few favorites include “I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson,” “Scenes From a Marriage,”  UFC 268, “Loki,” and, of course, HBO’s “Succession.” Currently in its third season with two episodes remaining at the time of writing, “Succession” feels like it is in a league of its own from everything else on TV, and this season may be the best thing on HBO for a long time. 

If you are not familiar with “Succession,” it is about a family, the Roy family, consisting of patriarch Logan Roy and his children Conner, Kendall, Siobhan and her husband Tom, their bumbling cousin Greg and Roman. The Roy family owns Waystar RoyCo, a media and entertainment conglomerate, that each member fights to gain control of after Logan suffers a health scare. The premise and character motivations are as simple as the title of the show, but there really is nothing else like it on TV right now. Despite the entirety of the show being dedicated to the business and stocks of Waystar RoyCo, the drama and story come from the characters, the dastardly things they are willing to do to seek their father’s approval as next in line to run the company and as his own plans to slowly pit his own children against each other for the fun of it because he is an evil man.

“Succession” is a very mean show. The first two seasons had a few glimpses into the dark and cavernous souls the Roy family has, but season three has fully opened the gates of Hell and is not afraid to show how barbaric these people are to each other. You think your family Thanksgiving was rough? Logan Roy hits a kid over the head with a can of cranberries. It was so awesome. That was in season one, but it was just the writers being nice to the audience. In season three the Roys are in full civil war mode and have collapsed after Kendall Roy played the blame game on a public stage in the finale of season two. Apparently the only proper course of action is to eviscerate and shame each other and destroy any credibility the others have on national television. With nothing holding the family back from public shaming, they go balls to the wall and do not hold back. Without spoiling anything, “Rape Me” by Nirvana is now even more uncomfortable than it was before and I commend “Succession” for weaponizing it. Season three has been relentless so far and while each episode progresses the story further each time with some good shocks in between, it always knows how to respond to itself which is not always easy. The second the piano keys of the opening theme hit, you know this episode will assault your feelings and it will be a good time. 

“Succession” is some of the best TV you will see right now. It’s been a while since I have actually been excited to sit down weekly and watch a new episode of a show. “Succession” makes almost everything feel like a tension-filled nightmare. Mundane events like vacations, Thanksgiving and birthday parties are not safe from family politics or actual politics and everything is always uncomfortable. There is not much I can say about this show without getting deep into the details to try and sell you if you are not watching it. Season three so far has been an absolute blast and I am sad this season is almost over because it is wild. Watch “Succession” on HBO please.

Nolen Kelly, Editor

It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means: more words to read that I wrote. Spooky scary skele-season is over, and while I can’t lie, I do miss it a bit more than usual, I am looking forward to things beyond the grave, like movies. This week I’m reviewing Timothée Chalamet in “Dune,” his latest movie not titled “The French Dispatch.” Although many other publications’ reviews are either filled with pure unadulterated rage about how boring “Dune” is or praising the new addition to the collection of movies that God himself wrote, I personally think this is a slightly flawed, but very good movie.

“Dune” is based on the 1965 novel by Frank Herbert and was originally adapted into a movie in 1984 by David Lynch, but was slammed by Lynch himself at the time for his lack of interest in his own creation and for how “heartbreaking” the whole process of making it was. The movie remained divisive among Lynch’s fans, general movie enjoyers, original fans of the novel and science fiction fans for decades. By 2017, French-Canadian director Denis Villenueve would build up a reliable resumé of movies that ranged from nail biting and ultra-tense thrillers like “Sicario” and “Prisoners” to science fiction movies about humanity and its connections with non-human entities like robots in “Blade Runner 2049” and “Arrival.” The latter two films would serve as Villenueve’s tests as to whether he would be able to tackle something as large as “Dune” and when the film was announced back in February of 2017, many people were very excited, including me.

Too long, too boring, “don’t care, get ratioed” history lesson aside, “Dune” has been in need of a good adaptation for a long time and I believe Villenueve did a killer job… on part one. “Dune” is only part one of two movies and despite part one being 80 percent political discussion and 20 percent action, it is a very good movie. Although Villenueve tends to make his movies with a rich color spectrum, he chose to make “Dune” a very bleak and monochromatic movie that I kind of hated at first because it looks so boring. But, I think the longer the movie went on, the more I appreciated how simple the colors were. Single shades of black, grey, yellow and white fill the screen and force you to pay attention to what is being shown when everything is the same color. And speaking of paying attention — this story is primarily composed of political discussion so it can absolutely get boring, however, I think that it works well and stays interesting if you can keep in mind that this is only part one and the better stuff will come later if this movie is not working for you. “Dune” is all about world building, establishing the politics of the story and developing the characters and relationships. 

Speaking of the characters, I don’t think there is anyone in this movie I don’t like. Zendaya Coleman’s (“Euphoria,” “Malcolm and Marie”) character Chani and Dave Bautista’s (“Spectre,” “Guardians of the Galaxy”) Glossu Rabban do not play major roles in this part and I think that is fine, as they may be more prominent in part two. There were a lot of big actors and characters in this movie, but it felt like everyone played a pretty big part in either the story or the motivation of another character. Oscar Isaac (”Scenes From a Marriage,” “Ex Machina”) as Leto Atreides was an excellent example of a devoted father and honest leader while Stellan Skarsgârd (“Good Will Hunting,” “Thor”) was a disgusting and intense Baron Harkonnen. Timothée Chalamet (“Lady Bird,” “Call Me By Your Name”) was a decent Paul Atredies, but his best moments were whenever he interacted with Josh Brolin’s (“Milk,” “No Country for Old Men”) Gurney Hallick and, possibly one of the top three characters of the movie, Jason Mamoa’s (“Aquaman,” “Sweet Girl”) Duncan Idaho. He is a great character, but man, that name is terrible. 

On top of a great cast and some good looking colors and landscapes, the size and scale of this movie is impressive. “Dune” is impressive because of how large and advanced everything looks and feels, such as massive ships that carry entire armies to the vast cities on each planet. Everything looks and feels big. The sandworm, from the trailers and not a spoiler, is terrifying, and just the thought of something like that slithering beneath layers of sand and big enough to destroy entire ships further adds to the terrifying magnitude of this universe. Even the size of the Baron is intimidating as he is a big mondo man who can just levitate wherever he wants. It is repulsive but it is really cool. I came out of this having really enjoyed everything but the thing that struck me the most was just how big everything in this movie was and I felt so small afterward.

There is a lot to talk about with this film. I can understand why people don’t love this movie and I get why it is held in such high regard, but I can say I am happy comfortably in the middle. “Dune” is a slower burn than other sci-fi movies, but, while people say that “Star Wars” is the space opera, I think this movie takes the cake as an actual opera in space. “Dune” is a long but slick and cool couple of hours that may not be for everyone but is definitely worth checking out if slow but cool movies are your thing. “Dune” (2021) earns a hefty “A-” from me and I can’t wait for part two.

Nolen Kelly, Editor

Well here we are with the Halloween episode of the Collegian and it’s time to talk the terror. There really is no feeling quite like watching a horror movie. I may not be the biggest frequenter of the genre, but when a movie manages to dig under your skin, personally attack your senses and leave your walk to your car, bathroom or bedroom the scariest journey you have embarked on then that is truly something special. I put out a poll on my social media in search of what movies left my followers fearful or filled with discomfort, masochistic joy or true horror and the results are truly fascinating. Everything in this article is a horror movie and may contain content that is upsetting, disturbing or inappropriate content so to be safe, I am throwing up a discretion warning for any movie title featured as well as a small spoiler warning.

Nolen Kelly: “Twin Peaks: FWWM”

My favorite horror movie is “Twin Peaks; Fire Walk with Me.” I am a big fan of the show, as all stable and normal humans should be, but for some reason it seemed like the fanbase was torn on whether the movie pre-dating the events of the series was good or bad. After giving it a go for the first time this year, I understand. I later saw David Lynch’s industrial horror insanity, “Eraserhead,” and even that couldn’t match the visceral discomfort, genuine sadness and sheer horror that “Fire Walk with Me ” left on my innocent and pure soul. Maybe not everyone’s brand of spook, but if a movie has Kyle MacLachlan, a Nine Inch Nails-esque club scene, and David Bowie then it is destined to stick in my annoying Letterboxd top four for months after watching it. There’s not much more for me to say without spoiling anything but the entire second half of this movie is some of the most wildly uncomfortable and soul crushing stuff I have seen so far. Just to rattle off a few more of my favorites, I am really big on “The Lighthouse,” “Ghostbusters,” (1984), “Carnival of Souls” and the actual greatest of all time, “The Silence of the Lambs.”

Hey, look at that you survived my opinion, congratulations. This will be a bit of a long article but bare with me, this is the part I really wanted to focus on. I asked my friends to write a few short sentences about their favorite horror movies and why that one because just saying a movie you like is fine but talking about it is always better. 

Francesca Knoll: “Train to Busan” – “Picture this: the perfect zombie movie with great acting, phenomenal makeup and an ending that will have you crying your heart out. Folks, ‘Train to Busan’ has all of that and more. I enjoy this movie so much because of the fact that it is not simply a zombie movie. While the zombies are terrifying, the story tends to focus on how people may lose their moral values in life or death situations, and also a bit of commentary on the social classes in South Korea. While I wouldn’t call this specifically a horror movie, Editor’s Note: it is I definitely felt my stomach churning seeing how fast the zombie apocalypse spread and how an entire country essentially collapses. If you feel like watching a movie that makes you laugh cry, and fear for your life: go watch ‘Train to Busan.’”

James LeVan: “Insidious” – “‘Insidious’ terrifies me because there are some eerily uncomfortable scenes. Most horror movies I have seen were either slashers or relied heavily on jump scares, but ‘Insidious’ scares you by setting you up with some uncomfortable tension building. Even when you know something is going to happen, you’re not quite sure what exactly will happen and every time it succeeds in being scary. 

Jakob Eiseman: ‘Hereditary” – “My favorite horror movie is ‘Hereditary.’ It’s not the scariest movie I’ve seen or even the best horror flick I’ve watched, but it is by far the most terrifying. From start to finish ‘Hereditary’ gave me an extreme sense of anxiety and dread that made me feel like I was about to get my head ripped off or burnt alive by the villains of the film. I was told to go in blind, but I knew the film was A24 so I knew to expect being uncomfortable. Nothing prepared me, though, for how the filmmakers manipulated my expectations to make me watch my back every time I left the house for months. I still haven’t fully recovered from how utterly scared I felt on the walk from St. Basil’s to Theresa Court the night I watched it.”

Greg Shannon: “The Lighthouse” – “I think when it comes to a movie like ‘The Lighthouse’ it handles horror in a unique way. Normally horror movies are typically about jump scare and adrenaline rushes, but ‘The Lighthouse’ is slow and methodical. It forces you to let your guard down and leaves you disturbed by the end of it.

Izzy Hill: “The Conjuring 2” – “‘The Conjuring 2’ is so much more than a spooky movie about the paranormal. It’s got a beautiful love story that brought tears to my eyes, a coming-of-age story that didn’t make me hate children or British people for a moment and a spooktacular horror plot. This movie is fantastic as a standalone, but if you’re like me and my roommates, who watched all of the ‘Conjuring’ universe movies in chronological order, it pulls everything together leaving you truly stunned.

Kai Espinosa: “Coraline” – “I should start this off by saying that ‘Coraline’ is my favorite film of all time. Since I was a kid, I was drawn to smooth claymation and silly characters and now that I’m (seemingly) an adult, I love ‘Coraline’ for different reasons, mainly the story of family and all the dysfunction with it. ‘Coraline’ is based on the novel by Neil Gaiman about the adventurous preteen Coraline Jones. While exploring her new house, Coraline finds a small door that leads to a house similar to hers, only this house is full of bright colors, mouth-watering feasts, and clones of her parents who cater to her every want and need. Coraline’s other mother and other father offer for Coraline to live with them forever in this utopia on one condition: they sew buttons into her eyes, terrifying stuff. This movie combines stellar stop motion with themes of family and betrayal. In what is essentially a horror movie for kids, ‘Coraline’ is a chilling film that is sure to stay with you during the spooky season.”

On my Instagram page I put out a question on my story simply asking “What is your favorite Horror movie?” It almost seems like people actually like horror movies, weirdos, and here are some of my followers’ favorites. Fellow Archbishop Ryan survivor Tori Sciarra rocks with “The Lighthouse,”as well as “Scream” (1996), which is also the favorite of my A&E co-editor, Jeri Tripodi. Lee Hungerford and Aidan Degnan are classic monster enjoyers with the blandly titled but eternally bonkers “It” (2017) and “The Thing” (1982) respectively. Malachi Cason is a big fan of “Child’s Play” (1988) and Raymond Thompson digs “Halloween”(1978) just like Soraya Kelly. 

With all of the serious answers I got, there had to be some real “funny guys” who thought saying “The Santa Clause” (1998), Matt Keller, and “Star Wars” (1977- present), Ryan Donaghy, would make me laugh and guess what? You did. Are you happy now? Do you enjoy making me laugh you sickos? Sorry, I digress. Martin Redenaur is a big proponent of “The Wailing” (2016) but not as big as Audrey Walker — they both fought loudly for who loves it more and it was a stressful time. We were so generously gifted the favorites of her majesties Maria Hernandez, Vice President of Personnel of the Masque of La Salle, with “Horsemen” (2008), Liz McLaughlin, editor of the Business section, with the Jack Nicholson documentary “The Shining” (1980), and Kylie McGovern, editor of the Sports section with her favorite, “The Sixth Sense” (1999). My roommate and fellow Timothy Olyphant fan, Sam Da Silva is bit of a modern guy in a modern time and was left in a broken state after experiencing Jordan Peele’s “Get Out” (2017) and Chase Hildebrandt submits “The Passion of the Christ” (2004). It is scary, yes it is, this is my article, you have no power here, shut up. Finally, some other normal humans, Jen Schnakenberg and Mary Wierzbicki decided that no horror movie is a good horror movie and that sits perfectly well with me. 

As you can see, people seem to like horror movies. Weirdos. But if there is one thing to take away it is that horror movies kind of rock even if you are not a horror fan. Horror can be anything that makes you uncomfortable or plants a seed of scary in your soul.

Nolen Kelly, Editor

I am a wuss. I get scared really easily and I actively go out of my way to avoid being scared. Halloween is rapidly approaching and you know what that means — time to get spooky. If you are like me and dread the dead, but not in a cool way, then I have a simple solution for you: movies. If you came to read something from Nolen Kelly, I don’t know what you expected. Here is a list of five Halloween-themed movies that are fun enough to get you into the spooky feeling, but the horror and scaries are more like backseat elements to the movie. This list is designed to get slightly darker with each entry but nothing will be too bad. 

5. “Twitches”

Starting off, let’s look at Halloween movies that were made for younger audiences. I’m in college and I am recommending you, most likely an adult, movies to watch so if I say these movies hold up, you have no choice but to take my opinions to heart and listen to me. Halloween has always been a time that kids networks do themed holidays in style and the best example of this is Disney Channel. Maybe not as great as it once was when I was an active viewer as a small manlet, but there was still a mountain of great Halloween themed mini-movies the channel produced from the likes of “Halloweentown” and “Halloweentown 2: Kalabar’s Revenge.” While those are both great, I’m focusing on “Twitches.” Twin sisters, played by Tia and Tamera Mowery (“Sister Sister”) happen to be witches in this still fun and light adventure through a spooky world that may not have aged as well as all small people my age may remember, but nonetheless it is still a good movie to watch to get into the spooky mood.

4. “Hocus Pocus”

Moving on from there I want to get a little more mature and talk about a specific Halloween classic that would get me persecuted had I not included it. It is still Disney, I know, but when the subject is about a virgin being sacrificed or something, I think the audience for this movie deserves a bit more credit. “Hocus Pocus” is an all-timer for anyone with an inkling of appreciation for the Michael Myers month and there is a good reason why. Funny, charming, spooky and memorably weird, “Hocus Pocus” will always be known for that song, I’m not going to say it’s name because I’ll get it stuck in my head and yours, as well as performances from Sarah Jessica Parker (“Sex and the City) and Bette Midler (“Parental Guidance”), “Hocus Pocus” is a surefire way to get almost anyone excited for Halloween time.

3. “Monster House”

Going further into the darkness, let’s look at animation. It would be easy to put the “Citizen Kane” of movies on here, “Spookley the Square Pumpkin” but I think a better animated Halloween movie is my personal favorite Halloween movie, “Monster House.” Steve Buscemi (“Fargo,” “Reservoir Dogs”) is Mr. Nebbercracker, an old man who takes everything that lands on his lawn, and after his young neighbor, DJ, loses a basketball to Nebbercracker’s lawn, it is up to them to get it back. But, things are a bit more mysterious than they may seem when it looks like the house has some secrets of its own. Surprise: the house is a monster. It’s not an earth-shattering movie, nor is it the greatest animated Halloween movie of all time (that’s “It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown,”) but this is still a great movie that I think does the job of getting you into the freaky feeling. Stellar animation that may not have aged well, good casting, good writing and a solid third act make this movie a must watch.

2. “Harry Potter: Prisoner of Azkaban”

Let’s get a little more mature here but let’s also move away from the traditional Halloween setting. There are a handful of movies that can get you into the mood for some screams without even showing you a pumpkin. My pick for the fantastical Halloween slot goes to the “Harry Potter” franchise, specifically “The Prisoner of Azkaban.” Opening with a ghost bus ride that drives in between two double decker busses and a werewolf in the bushes spying on Harry, this movie starts off just right and fits in perfectly with the Hallowed-vibes from there. Werewolves, rats, Gary Oldman and ghosts are all here in this solid entry in not only the franchise but also in the Halloween mood.

1. “Hellboy” (2004)

Finally, talk about a man who practically re-invented Halloween monsters in the 2000’s, Guillermo Del Toro. Although he has dabbled in many actual monster horror movies, he also has a fine collection of just cool monster movies, namely my final entry on this list, “Hellboy.” Demons, Nazis, fish people and Selma Blaire with fire powers — which is awesome by the way — all set a perfectly spooky mood that while may be cheesy at times is another fun action adventure that happens to feature some impressive makeup, effects and overall visuals that will make this a must watch for your Halloween dinner party with your neighbors.

Like I said, I get scared pretty easily and actively go out of my way to avoid being scared, but when Halloween comes around I enjoy a nice spook every now and then. These are just a few easygoing spooky movies to watch this Halloween season.

By Nolen Kelly

The world is a cruel place and we are all just a bunch of greedy monsters. I don’t have a funny or long-winded introduction for this review, because I’m living in a world of darkness that doesn’t deserve my delightful humor. Netflix’s new series “Squid Game” is about 456 men and women, deep in debt, who are all recruited to play games for a mysterious company that offers a gargantuan prize. With nine episodes, each clocking in around an hour each, “Squid Game” has its ups, it has its downs, and it has a lot of other stuff. I have no creative segue for this paragraph, move along now. 

While there was a lot that I liked, there was a lot I did not like, namely the pacing of the show. The first episode worked really well. We got to know the protagonist and see his life, his struggles and how he becomes involved in the games. Then we see the first game: how he and everyone playing are reacting to it, and we, the audience, get to watch and experience everything as well. It effectively established characters, setting, mystery, a game, and the stakes. Every episode is full of subplots and different character dramas so it never gets boring, but sometimes a little too much is happening and there is not always enough space for some things to breathe and settle. Without spoiling anything, there is a moment between two characters I enjoyed a lot but afterwards I realized how rushed and sudden it was. The emotional punch of the moment came and went before I even got a chance to grasp what was happening. The eighth episode has a runtime of only thirty minutes which works perfectly in context to the story. If it was an hour long it would have been too much filler, but the thirty minutes helped contain the story within the story, tell the important parts and move on. Aside from the pacing, I was not a fan of the VIP characters. I know they were meant to be annoying but they really sucked, a few characters had moments of being more annoying than usual, and I think some scenes were a bit rushed in some important areas.

With that said, I liked a lot of what I saw. There were times when my anxiety rose to the levels from the last time I saw “Uncut Gems:” very high. The games were recognizable yet simple enough to grasp, but with the ever present stakes always nipping at everyone’s heels, the character drama was mostly fun to follow, the dynamic changes in power and group work, and the like. I wish the second episode was written a bit stronger but each episode has something memorable within it. Each game is a nightmarish iteration of a normal game that I now refuse to play with anyone ever again because I am afraid for my life. While the finale may be a bit divisive, I have to admit I was thoroughly enjoying it until the big notable moment happened, and then I wasn’t liking it, and then I really liked it after the moment settled and some conversation transpired. I’m not sure if it was intentional or not but I found myself laughing a few times despite the dark scenarios. If there was supposed to be comedy, it worked and I didn’t think it was forced; if there wasn’t supposed to be comedy, it worked and I didn’t think it was forced. The second game, the sugar cookie game, is probably the most popular entity from the show right now and while that may be one of the darker moments of the show, I laughed a few times from the excess of the scene. It is really violent, don’t get me wrong, but if my research in comedy movies has taught me anything, it’s that excess can be funny. 

If I had to pick another fight with “Squid Game,” it would be the outside attention it has garnered. I think the show is great and is definitely worth checking out if you are looking for something intense, new and fun, but I think there may have been a little too much overemphasis on the show. I hear a lot of people slamming it and saying it is overhyped therefore they will not watch it, but that’s a terrible mindset to have. “Squid Game” is a good show and should be watched but that’s really all I need to say to recommend it without overdoing it. 

I recommend “Squid Game.” I think it is a fun, twisted and unique show that I can see lasting maybe another two seasons if they decide to continue on. I want to put out a few warnings just to be safe; there is a lot of blood, and gun violence, some gore, some suicide, a bit of nudity, and a lot of intense and somewhat disturbing imagery. A lot of things happen in this show and I think it is worth the viewing at some point. I don’t really want to rate this since it is a show but I do give this a thumbs up, a recommendation, and the Annual “Hey, look, South Korea has made new content that has connected with American audiences” Award. Congratulations.

Nolen Kelly, Staff

On Thursday, Sept. 23, Nintendo Co. announced in the middle of their Nintendo Direct, a showcase of upcoming Nintendo products, they were partnering with Illumination Studios (The same people who gave us “Despicable Me,” and “Sing”) to make an animated film adaptation of their most successful franchise, The Super Mario Bros., along with a notable cast to portray their beloved characters. Since the announcement you, specifically you, have taken personal offense to the casting and it has derailed any momentum you had as a human so now you spend your days in disarray and chaos. I’m here today to offer my alternative casting solutions, as well as my own thoughts on the casting in general, to get you back to being a stable and productive human. Spoiler alert, Danny DeVito will not be in this. Just because a certain Sunshiney and Philadelphian actor is cast as a certain green hat enjoyer/plumber/ghost hunter, that doesn’t mean Danny needs to follow him.

The first place to start is Chris Pratt (“Parks and Recreation,” “’The Lego Movie”) as the lead, Mario, which stirred up some chatter as one of the most controversial casting choices of the past five years. I enjoy the works of Chris Pratt not named “The Tomorrow War,” but I’m just not feeling it. As of now the voice has not been released, so there is a possibility it is just his voice. Although he has a good voice, he has not really had to change his voice for any other role. Why not give the voice to someone who has an entire career of controlling a whole scene’s comedic tone just by talking in different tones, Nick Kroll (“The League” “Big Mouth”). Watch any episode of “The League ” and I dare you to tell me that Nick Kroll would not be able to take any moment from fun and silly into a chaotically manic situation. Kroll’s voice already sounds high pitched enough to match Mario’s, voiced by Charles Martinet in the video games, and his fantastic comedic timing would make this a much funnier movie than it is shaping up to be. 

Speaking of high pitched comedians, Charlie Day (“It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” “Horrible Bosses”) as Luigi is perfect. I’m not kidding. I joked on my Instagram story, @nolenkelly, that I think Charlie’s casting is perfect and I stand by it. My favorite TV character voicing my main character in “Super Smash Ultimate” is a dream I didn’t think would be possible. Imagine the Nightman episode of “Sunny” where Charlie is in a world of darkness playing a keyboard while high on paint fumes but replace the keyboard with a vacuum sucking up ghosts in a haunted Mansion and he isn’t high. If I was forced to choose an alternative I would go with the actor who voiced Benny in “The Lego Movie.” I can’t remember what his name is. Next is Anya Taylor-Joy (“The VVitch,” “The Queen’s Gambit”) as Princess Peach. I don’t really have any complaints for her either. I think ATJ is very talented and she would, hopefully, make Princess Peach, again hopefully, feel like the least “in-distress” damsel ever, see her performance in “Split,” although “Split” is not at all comparable to an animated Princess Peach from “Super Mario Bros.” I hope they don’t actually feature ATJ as just a kidnapped princess. Alternatives? No clue, but I have been liking this recent spike of Zoë Kravitz (“Mad Max; Fury Road,” “Big Little Lies”).

Moving on from there are the villains with the big baddie daddy casting of them all, Jack Black, I mean Bowser, I mean Jack Black as Bowser. I don’t really have any complaints here either, I’m sorry. I’m not really, but if “Kung-Fu Panda,” “School of Rock” and my personal favorite, “Nacho Libre,” have taught us anything, it is that Jack is a master of his voice, his comedy and just being the most rad dude on the planet. If I had to recast him I would want to see Giancarlo Esposito (“Breaking Bad,” “Do the Right Thing”). He almost killed Walter White and now he’s voicing a dragon, must be a good life being Giancarlo. Another big bad, but good, casted name was Seth Rogen as the tie-wearing and going-on-adventures-with-his-son enthusiast, Donkey Kong. This should be interesting since Seth usually voices below average intelligence characters like B.O.B from “Monsters vs Aliens” or Allen the Alien from “Invincible.” The whole concept of “Monkey Seth Rogen” just feels so strange I can’t imagine any sane human wanting to take on the role so, I don’t know, let’s just say we all agree on Bradley Cooper (“Silver Linings Playbook,” “The Hangover”). That new trailer for Paul Thomas Anderson’s “Licorice Pizza” as well as his time as Rocket in the Marvel movies gives me some good ideas of what a raging monkey version of Bradley Cooper would look like.

Rounding out the smaller characters casting list are Keegan Micheal-Key (“Key and Peele,” “Keanu”) as Toad, Fred Armisen (“Portlandia,” “Saturday Night Live”) as Cranky Kong, Kevin Micheal Richardson (“The Batman,” “Invincible”) as Kamek, and Sebastian Maniscalco (“The Irishman,” “Sebastian Maniscalco; Stay Hungry”) as Foreman Spike. I am strongly in favor of KMK as Toad, solely based off the second “Substitute Teacher” skit from “Key and Peele” in which Peele says the phrase “Pray tell what is the reason for this premature exodus” and I need to hear Toad say big words like that. Fred Armisen is one of the funniest people today and will be hilarious no matter where he goes, so Cranky Kong will be a character to keep an eye out for. Kevin Micheal Richardson may not be so familiar to many people, but he is an incredibly talented voice actor that appears in almost everything ever, however his casting as Kamek is a weird one considering Kamek is a woman. As I’m writing this I’m finding out Kamek is a woman so I will be hoping for the best for KMR. Sebastian Maniscalco is a fantastic standup comedian and is maybe the most facially expressive comedian since Jim Carrey in his prime so I look forward to his time on the screen.

I think this casting so far is a really strange array of celebrities that all feel like they are from different corners of Hollywood, but I just hope it is good. Nintendo makes some top notch games, so now all they have to do is translate their flair into another form of media and make it better than passable. “Super Mario Bros.; The Movie” has been announced to hit theaters in December 2022.

By Nolen Kelly

The summer of 2021, or “The Summer of Cena ” for the cultured scholars out there, was much different from any other summer before it due to the slight reopening of the world and the reopening of movie theaters. To that I say, “Yay” followed by an emphatic “Huzzah” ending with a botched backflip. Energetic little scamp, ain’t I? The point is, theaters are open again and now movie enjoyers and casually bored families can finally return to the place that makes a camera and some silly pretending into one of the most enjoyable experiences a human can be a part of. This summer, like any other, had a fair mix of great and terrible movies, so here is my list of the five best and five worst movies I saw in the summer of 2021. If you disagree with anything, please do not cry, because then I will cry. Also, I will be throwing up a spoiler warning for some movies just in case, so be prepared.

That is all that I have to say about all of that. The summer of Cena was a mixed bag of entertainment, like any other summer typically is, and luckily the good stuff was great and the worst of it was boring and forgettable. Thankfully, it seems that now more people are able to make it back to doing what they loved the most, and for me that means seeing more movies in theaters. If anything here was even remotely interesting, then follow me on Letterboxd (@Nolesy) and see what movies I’m watching.